"So. You monopolised the concept of-"
"Dr. Wondertainment, yes. And associated branches."
"Right. And you sold it to… them."
"This is correct. We are a business. We know it has upset you, but you must understand, we mean no malice. It is simply the intersection of economics and metaphysics."
"Right. I'm guessing, at this point, you know what I'm about to do?"
"You would assume correctly. We are aware of the impending chronological distortion and have altered our portfolios accordingly. You will cost us approximately U 4.5 million."
"Is that a lot?"
"More than we would like, less than we had planned for. We will make up the shortfall within three spirals, and it will have a great deal of providence for both soy beans and ocular toxoplasmosis, which we have already advised multiple investors to consider."
"But, in this new… world, you'll still-"
"Own Dr. Wondertainment as a concept? Yes. Our purchasing is guaranteed temporally sound."
"And if they asked you for it, you'd sell it to them again?"
"Yes. As we said, it is merely-"
"Economics, right. So, I guess my question is… what could I give you in return?"
"In return for the metaphysical domain of your name, company, livelihood, and personage? It would be costly. It would need to be a concept linked to you, not under the direct control of a competitor, and usable by us to gain a foothold within a market that has previously been closed for us. The Dr. Wondertainment brand opened a gateway for us; selling to the Factory simply allowed us to diversify the surreal estate amongst various other anomalous enterprises under said Factory's metaphorical thumb."
"I have an idea."
"We are interested. Please, tell us."
"You want a foothold, right?"
"Correct."
"I can give you a foothold, I think. A way into something bigger. Tell me, does the phrase 'SCP Foundation' ring any bells?"
"…We continue to be interested. What do you have in mind."
"I was thinking of something along the lines of…"
- SCP-2554 - Duckweed
- SCP-2555 - Growing Up
- SCP-2556 - Indefinitely Suspended Stratojet
- SCP-2557 - Mr. Purple
- SCP-2558 - Horseshoe Beach First Baptist Church (Relocated)
- SCP-2559 - "I've Heard There's Something Going Around"
- SCP-2560 - Polar Opposites
"…It's novel, we'll give you that. You do understand, though, that once this is ours, he is… gone. From you. You will have no say, no dominion, no choice over what comes or goes or does or doesn't or-"
"Yeah. Yeah, I… get it. I think, anyway; this whole thing is batshit insane, but… yeah. I'm fairly sure I get it. And I understand that he wasn't particularly, uh, popular, anyway."
"…Very well. We will send something that is almost a lawyer to sort out the details. It's been a pleasure doing business with you, Doctor Wondertainment."
"Thanks, and you. Please, don't ever contact me again."
