Ursus Maritimus Critter Profile

NOTICE FROM THE FOUNDATION DEPARTMENT OF EXTERNAL AFFAIRS

The following document has been provided to the Foundation by the Federal Bureau of Investigation's Unusual Incidents Unit as part of the Boring Agreement. In accordance with the Boring Agreement, containment of the anomaly in question has been deferred to the government of the United States.

For further information regarding the Boring Agreement, please contact Site-64 GoI-466 liaison: R. Tarpan.




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Critter Profile: The Polar Bear!

Overview!

polarbear.jpg

Name: The Polar Bear

Species: Ursus Maritimus (Polar Bear)

Primary Caretaker: N/A

Diet: Raw pork

Housed: Enclosure 3 (Formerly)



Creature Features!

We don't have a name for this critter, but folks around the wildlife center had taken to calling him simply "The Polar Bear" during the incident. You read that right, this is a genuine polar bear, straight from the Arctic. Well, I assume he's from the Arctic. He could be from anywhere really. Anyways, onto the creature features! This critter is unlike anything we have ever encountered before.

The Polar Bear absorbs all the thermal radiation (meaning heat) from the area around him. Right now you must be thinking: well that ain't too bad, it sounds like he'd be helpful on a hot summer day! Well, he doesn't just make it a little colder, this critter absorbs the heat out of everything. Be it the warmth in the air, the heat from a radiator, or your very own body heat. The Polar Bear absorbs it all up and, in some process unknown to us, becomes incredibly bright.

This heat absorption also has the unfortunate side effect of making it snow in the area around him wherever he goes. Which is a real pain when he comes around in the middle of the summer!

History!

ticklecreek.png

The spot where the couple was attacked.


This critter and the circumstances surrounding our first encounter with it are very Unusual, to say the least. It all started with a picnic on Tickle Creek. For those who are not residents of Boring, Tickle Creek is a creek (amazing I know) that runs a mile or two South of the town. During the summer folks like to go picnicking on its banks. It was a pair of such folks that led to us first discovering The Polar Bear.

LIST OF EVENTS 2.0 (Delete later)

  • The Bear attacks a couple near Tickle Creek
  • He starts moving towards Boring, going through the woods and later an apple orchard to eat some apples, where WWS tries to move him away from town
  • He reaches the town, WWS diverts him to the wildlife center using apple pies
  • They put him in Enclosure 3, which is heated. It gets destroyed
  • They then move him to a refrigerated building
  • The prices are very high, and a heat wave is coming
  • End of history, maybe add something in Notes that takes place during or after the UIU format and links to it

Special Needs and Accommodations!

The Polar Bear was the first critter to use Enclosure 3, which we had recently built using bake sale money. He was, unfortunately, also the last critter to use it. Before its untimely destruction, Enclosure 3 was intended to be used for housing large carnivores. Things like wolves, bears, and saber-tooth tigers.

The Polar Bear has a sweet tooth, which we found out when Hagimatsu Yufuyu led him into the enclosure using an apple pie. We have no idea why he likes apple pie, but hey! If The Polar Bear wants an apple pie, I invite you to try and stop him, because I certainly don't want to get in his way again.

Notes about The Polar Bear!

6/21/2008
The FBI is confiscating all of our files.

ATTRIBUTIONS
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:PolarBear3_CincinnatiZoo.jpg
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Wenham_Town_Hall_in_the_Snow.jpg
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:2010._Mt._Hood,_Oregon._(38723492675).jpg
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Tickle_Creek,_Boring,_Oregon.png

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