The Bird Machine

Thesis Statement:

This SCP is about a factory that produces birds. The Special Containment Procedures and Description are used to introduce a surreal air into the work. A factory in the middle of nowhere with roads that suddenly stop, that produces various birds from nothing and is staffed entirely by simplified humanoids. An interview with one of these humanoids is used to amplify the strangeness: they speak in nonsense, seemingly predetermined phrases. In the ending, they investigate the factory and find evidence that the entire thing was not only created in an afternoon, but was created by people who don't really understand what a factory does. The core idea is of the Cargo Cult, where this factory was produced by aliens who understand that factories make money, but fail to understand why that is the case.

rating: +2+x

The building containing SCP-XXXX.


A rare fully-formed avian specimen produced by SCP-XXXX.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Edifice

Containment Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Area XXXX has been established near SCP-XXXX to facilitate containment. The area surrounding SCP-XXXX has been demarcated with a barbed wire fence. No civilians are to be granted entry into this perimeter.

On a biweekly basis, a semitrailer truck must be driven by a Foundation operative to the gate of SCP-XXXX. Then, the operative must wait for SCP-XXXX-1 to load avians or equivalent into the truck's trailer. Care must be taken to ensure that the truck is position in such as way that SCP-XXXX-1 instances do not need to leave the factory in order to deliver avian specimens into the truck. Before returning to Area XXXX, the operator must visually confirm that SCP-XXXX-1 are not loading any further objects into the truck. After the truck has returned to Area XXXX, the resulting biological material may either be incinerated or transported to Foundation sites for use in containing other SCP objects.

Following Incident XXXX-Theta, at least three members of security personnel are required to be on-site at all times.

Description: SCP-XXXX are a set of assembly lines and machining equipment contained within an industrial site in the Selva de Irati, Navarra, Spain. Of note is SCP-XXXX's remote location, making it impractical to operate as a factory through standard methods. Markings covering the building indicate that it was built for the production of avian animals. SCP-XXXX involves several anomalous machines; for instance, an acid bath capable of converting any matter to bird organs, and a set of robotic arms capable of seamlessly concatenating these parts into an organic lifeform. The remainder of the components are non-anomalous assembly machines. These machines are capable of being operated by non-anomalous humans and SCP-XXXX-1.

SCP-XXXX is staffed by 25 or more instances of SCP-XXXX-1. SCP-XXXX-1 are similar in appearance to non-anomalous humans; however, they do not have eyes, and their faces constantly display an expression of grimace. In addition, vivisections of SCP-XXXX-1 instances have revealed that they have no internal organs and are composed entirely of an organic paste. When removed from the site containing SCP-XXXX, SCP-XXXX-1 instances will rapidly decompose into this paste.

SCP-XXXX-1 instances can only speak using a selection of pre-determined phrases, rendering them unable to communicate beyond their limited vocabulary. As such, their sentience is debated.

When objects are placed into the receiving ends of SCP-XXXX, they will be processed into living avian specimens. While in Foundation containment, SCP-XXXX has demonstrated the ability to produce a variety of bird species; while in Foundation containment, it has been observed to produce game birds, gulls, and birds of prey. Thus far, no pattern has been observed.

However, most birds created by SCP-XXXX are incomplete. Many lack internal organs, have too many or too few limbs, or have body parts on wrong parts of their body. It is rare for a specimen to live for more than two hours.

A parking lot has been constructed outside of the building containing SCP-XXXX, along with roads leading into the parking lot. These roads abruptly terminate 0.5 kilometers from SCP-XXXX, marked with octagonal red signs reading "ROAD ENDS".

Sub-Report A: Inventory

In addition to the room containing SCP-XXXX, the aforementioned industrial site encompasses several administrative offices. These offices appear to have been used for several months prior to the discovery of SCP-XXXX. The offices contain crude imitations of common office machinery, such as fake computers, copy machines, coffee makers, and lighting systems. These imitations are made out of color plastic and do not function; however, tinted glass used in the place of screens have been etched and engraved to appear as if they are running properly.

Documents belonging to a "ZRET Incorporated" are found strewn throughout the building with no consistent pattern. These documents found are generally nonsensical. For example:


I am contacting you regarding how business became time and money. The bird factory is estimated to produce 10,000 units between September 2020 and August 2002. I think we want to make money here; I thought this was obvious?

Don't waste any more of our time, cut the slack, Jack!

- Rodney

Note: This document is not translated. Despite SCP-XXXX being located in Spain, all documents are in American English.

Analysis of the industrial site and its contents estimates that it was all created between August 15th and August 22nd of 2018.

Sub-Report B: Incident XXXX-Theta

On September 23rd, 2020, an unidentified vehicle drove to the industrial site containing SCP-XXXX. The object was designed in the facsimile of a tanker truck, despite the fact that it very clearly had undergone several modifications making it more circular in shape. Upon arriving at the loading docks, three quadrupedal entities exited the vehicle, leading several instances of SCP-XXXX-1 into the factory.

Recording apparati on-site recorded the entities communicating in American English.


<Begin Log>

Entity A: Where are the birds goin'?

Entity C: I'm sorry?

Entity A: The birds go for money, right? Where's the money, then?

Entity B: The birds are going for money. Where else would they go?

Entity C: You don't understand. They fly. They carry messages. They're valuable.

Entity A: Then where's the money? The whole reason we did this was for the money?

Entity C: Time is money, Rodney.

Entity A: Shut the fuck up, Clarence! Are we sure we're doing this right? We built the factory. We put all the typical factory stuff in it. We make stuff with the factory. Why aren't we rich yet?

Entity B: The money comes from the birds going for money. I thought we figured that out?

Entity A: Graham crackers! I don't know why I even talk to you guys.

<End Log>

The entities then boarded their vehicle and left before Foundation response forces could reach them. Attempts to track the truck or discern its destination were unsuccessful.

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