Backstory: Pentagram project to funnel the belief in superheros through thaumaturgical rituals into Old Gods that they could resurrect and control.
- Marvelous Mister Marduk
- Perilous Perun
- Rashnu The Zorastrian
- Jesus Christ of Nazereth Crossboy New Testament Anti-Satan — All titles pending evaluation from multiple higher monolithic secret organization, the National Association of Evangelicals, the Catholic Church, and the Disciples of the Unfinished Demiurge, Joel Osteen.
Marduk: "Chum, that is why separate good and evil. Bad guys and good guys. The world doesn't reverse the sky and the ground from where they should be. You don't walk on clouds and look up at fire hydrants."
"blahblahwhatsourceofpower"
[scene transition, never explicitly say it]
Marduk: "Might I see your gun, Christopher?"
"My gun"
Marduk: "The weapon you holster at your hip."
That's what heroes do!
oh god
thats a great slogan
"Saves Children, Eats Children"
and
Captain KirbyToday at 11:17 AM
“Thank you so much sir from saving our child from that burning building, whatever can we do to repay you?”
“Umm… give me his intestines.”
“What?”
“Thems the rules.”
TrufflesToday at 11:17 AM
“Thank you for saving my child from this burning building!” “Is he your first?” “Yes — “ “YEET”
nico™Today at 11:17 AM
"Listen, either your child goes with you sans intestines or he goes back into the fire."
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:24 AM
Marvelous Mister Marduk
Perilous Perun
Rashnu The Zorastrian
Maybe the sense of robbing another God's culture and washing it, sanitizing it until they're perfect beings? Hmm don't want it either to be a exact copy of the Boys and his ripping of the military-industrial complex
The Great HippoToday at 11:25 AM
like i didn't mean that as a genuine criticism gaga
*haha
TrufflesToday at 11:25 AM
@KindlyTurtleClem there’s no way in hell the pentagram would use any Slavic or Russian deities unless it was for propaganda purposes
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:25 AM
Darn
TrufflesToday at 11:25 AM
Actually
Ok
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:25 AM
Also why?
TrufflesToday at 11:26 AM
If we’re talking Cold War, think about it — why on earth would the United States use deities from the communist side of the globe when they could use Roman, Greek, and Norse god’s
The Great HippoToday at 11:26 AM
also can i just reiterate that doom patrol is fucking amazing
TrufflesToday at 11:26 AM
There would probably definitely be Norse gods in the mix, the pentagram DEFINITELY scooped up Nazi parascientists during Operation paperclip
Also the fact that the leader of NATO was a former Nazi
The Great HippoToday at 11:27 AM
https://youtu.be/vXQI70ty_SA
YouTube
Bate Clips
The butts are loose DOOM PATROL 1x12
TrufflesToday at 11:27 AM
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Heusinger
Adolf Heusinger
General Adolf Heusinger (August 4, 1897 – November 30, 1982) was a German military officer, whose career spanned the German Empire, the Weimar Republic, Nazi Germany and West Germany. Heusinger joined the German Army as a volunteer in 1915 and later became a professional so…
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:27 AM
Oooh interesting.
The Great HippoToday at 11:27 AM
THE BUTTS
ARE LOOSE
Pentagram is now Bureau of Normalcy
TrufflesToday at 11:27 AM
@KindlyTurtleClem more specifically, here is what I am imagining
The Pentagram capturing pagan gods of communist countries and turning them to serve the interests of their corporate masters
Dole purchases some banana republic’s wether god
*weather god
The Great HippoToday at 11:28 AM
remember that Stalin communism is anti-church, anti-religion
old Russian gods are of use to the Americans
TrufflesToday at 11:29 AM
Yeah
Imagine Chernobog appearing to some backwoods Siberian farmers telling them to buy McDonalds
The Great HippoToday at 11:29 AM
Anti-tradition too
At least the mao-variant
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:29 AM
FINALLY I get to use Chernobog
TrufflesToday at 11:29 AM
Yeah
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:30 AM
Been trying to find a good way to write him for months
The Great HippoToday at 11:30 AM
idk if you'd go so far as making them capitalist shills (that's definitely one angle though)
TrufflesToday at 11:30 AM
The main thing I’m imagining here is that these old pagan gods are being bastardized to serve the pentagram and their corporate interests
Weather gods being dispatched to banana republics
The Great HippoToday at 11:30 AM
but just the fact that they'd spread discord
TrufflesToday at 11:30 AM
Because that’s basically all the United States’ foreign policy has been
Using force to secure resources for corporate wealth
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:31 AM
What if the wrench is that some gods grow to like their new identities. And that now by the time the Foundation finds them, they lost both their real history and their fake history, essentially becoming classless entities.
TrufflesToday at 11:31 AM
How would they lose their fake history
The Great HippoToday at 11:31 AM
yeah but we butcher and repackage culture for mass consumption
Hmm
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:32 AM
Disuse and pull back of operations by the time the Soviet Union collapsed
TrufflesToday at 11:32 AM
Ah
Makes sense
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:32 AM
Actually that does raise an interesting point
whats stopping Pentagram by that point?
TrufflesToday at 11:32 AM
Cost, probably
Although tbh cost has never stopped us before
So no, not cost
The Pentagram would gladly sink a billion dollars every year into keeping their pagan gods leashed
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:34 AM
"Sir, our profit margins aren't skyrocketting this quarter, the merch for Marduk has never left the warehouse, and we keep running out of orphanages to burn down. Alternative fuel sources for our guys have also gone nowhere."
It has to be some bizarre stop-gap
TrufflesToday at 11:35 AM
Here’s an idea
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:35 AM
reflective of the era
TrufflesToday at 11:35 AM
What if the United States’ consumer culture becomes so broad and encompassing that it becomes a god all of its own
And starts consuming and eating the other pagan gods
Forcing the Pentagram to basically spend all their resources on keeping the god of planned obsolescence contained
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:36 AM
Reminds me of Mr. World from American Gods.
TrufflesToday at 11:37 AM
I think that would make a good stinger
God is dead, and Apple killed him
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:38 AM
Would be interesting if its not even just obsolescence, its the demiurge of online conspiracy rants, big pharma, manufactured crisis, third world exploitation, proxy war, it just keeps consuming, learning from the old ways and making a far more modern interpretation
TrufflesToday at 11:38 AM
Right, “obsolescence” was just me needing a pithy shorthand
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:39 AM
Cronenberg's version of a God
TrufflesToday at 11:39 AM
Cronenberg’s God is yaldabaoth
This is America’s god
Supply Side Jesus
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:40 AM
Those uhhh
Roombas
HEY
I HAVE AN IDEA
The last pagan god gives his interview
he is then consumed by roombas
TrufflesToday at 11:40 AM
Ehhhhh
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:41 AM
Darn
MrJacketBarthsToday at 11:41 AM
What is a Roomba ?
Is that a cousin of a Goomba ?
TrufflesToday at 11:41 AM
@KindlyTurtleClem the problem with “consumed by Roombas” is that it’s too goofy
Especially because where would they even come from in this context
The Great HippoToday at 11:42 AM
corporations run by neuralnets, unfathomable in scope, incapable of perceiving humans, are an analog to lovecraft cosmic horrors
capitalism creates azathoth, the blind idiot god
⚙🌈 LGBTCOTBG 🌈⚙Today at 11:43 AM
azathoth is a good sleepy squid and would never support capitalism :P
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:43 AM
That explains why YouTube and subsequent Google employees state they don't know why the Algorithm "chooses". They only know what they feed it.
morhadowToday at 11:43 AM
@MrJacketBarths a robot who cleans.
The Great HippoToday at 11:43 AM
The God of Capitalism is an eldritch horror
Gabriel JadeToday at 11:44 AM
The great dreamer awoke from 'neath the waves and thusly spoke:
Invest in Apple.
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:44 AM
@Truffles Invisible Roomba— alright fine. Though what do you think, should a pagan god be left alive, give his POV as he's frightened of the Cronenberg's Apple Monster that is out there, hungry for him?
TrufflesToday at 11:45 AM
@KindlyTurtleClem pentagram goofiness isn’t predicated on lol ironic randomness like Roombas devouring the god, it’s predicated on this horrific insanity that you have to either laugh at or cry at
MrJacketBarthsToday at 11:45 AM
Oh.
Wait a minute, I remember… my parents have a Roomba since 3 years, probably.
TrufflesToday at 11:45 AM
@KindlyTurtleClem if I had to make a suggestion for the pagan god, it would be that he slowly transforms into a corporate mascot over the course of the interview
ᴡᴏᴇᴅᴇɴᴀᴢToday at 11:45 AM
How's this for a Hanko fellas?
Gabriel JadeToday at 11:46 AM
Ooooh this looks nice
ᴡᴏᴇᴅᴇɴᴀᴢToday at 11:46 AM
:smile:
TrufflesToday at 11:46 AM
@KindlyTurtleClem the one thing I always point to when talking about pentagram ideas is the Bat Bomb
⚙🌈 LGBTCOTBG 🌈⚙Today at 11:46 AM
looks good!!
ᴡᴏᴇᴅᴇɴᴀᴢToday at 11:46 AM
decided that since you were so kind as to feature me @Gabriel Jade that I should fix that error haha
TrufflesToday at 11:46 AM
I might also start linking the new missile that shoots knives
Gabriel JadeToday at 11:46 AM
:3
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:46 AM
The what.
TrufflesToday at 11:46 AM
Because that’s a thing now, it’s a missile that shoots knives instead of exploding to limit civilian casualties because the United States is a fuck
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D6KQHQbW0AAD2cO.jpg:large
ROUNDERHOUSE.Today at 11:47 AM
@Truffles BAT BOMB
oh my
TrufflesToday at 11:47 AM
Bat bomb, Moscow spy cat, knife missile
ROUNDERHOUSE.Today at 11:47 AM
Nuclear chickens
TrufflesToday at 11:47 AM
That one was actually British
A Blessed FelineToday at 11:47 AM
gay bomb
TrufflesToday at 11:47 AM
But fuck the British, if it weren’t for the Nazis they would be the most evil country alive
Gabriel JadeToday at 11:47 AM
shoots bladed missile
Nothin personnel, kid
TrufflesToday at 11:48 AM
Winston Churchill literally caused a genocidal famine in Bangladesh
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:48 AM
Maahes was an ancient Egyptian lion-headed god of war,[2] whose name means "he who is true beside her". He was seen as the son of the Creator god Ptah, as well as the feline goddess (Bast in Lower Egypt or Sekhmet in Upper Egypt) whose nature he shared. Maahes was a deity associated with war, protection, and weather, as well as that of knives, lotuses, and devouring captives.
Maahes eventually becomes the logo for a private corporation in charge of releasing knife bomb prototypes.
Of note, I did have this idea where one of the pagan gods left behind goes through a Kafkian transformation process similar to the Fly. And like he slowly turns more and more into a superhero stereotype, only being able to respond in catchphrases and marketable adverts
But this…. is way better
A Blessed FelineToday at 11:50 AM
Both are really good ideas
TrufflesToday at 11:51 AM
The main reason I’m against the superhero stereotype thing is because superheroes are a very American cultural icon
These pagan gods are for international use
ROUNDERHOUSE.Today at 11:52 AM
This has The Men Who Stare At Goats vibes
TrufflesToday at 11:52 AM
So they can’t be focused on American superheroes, they have to be focused on American institutions like McDonalds or Dole
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:52 AM
Right, but they're taking another person's culture and wiping the slate clean, like they did with Thor and the Asgardians
And making it very marketable
TrufflesToday at 11:52 AM
What time frame are you planning to set this in?
Virtually all of my pentagram articles are set during the Cold War
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:52 AM
Soviet Union to Modern times. Originally, WW2, but that's too similar to what I'm reading of the Boys arc atm.
TrufflesToday at 11:53 AM
Mhm
Ok
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:54 AM
I mean there's no reason it can't eventually become a Dole or McDonalds
TrufflesToday at 11:54 AM
@KindlyTurtleClem the main issue is that superheroes as a cultural institution were only recognizable and even propagated through the United States, so their effectiveness and recognizability outside the US would be virtually nil
Whereas products and brands like McDonalds and Levi’s spread extremely rapidly and became international icons of American capitalism
ROUNDERHOUSE.Today at 11:55 AM
They're Brand Mascots
TrufflesToday at 11:55 AM
Bingo
mermkingToday at 11:55 AM
epic capitalism
TrufflesToday at 11:55 AM
Yes, brand mascot gods rather than superhero gods
Perun “Ronald” McDonald
nyaalyToday at 11:55 AM
his name is perun
TrufflesToday at 11:55 AM
In the USSR it is
ROUNDERHOUSE.Today at 11:55 AM
Chiquita Banana holding a fucking shotgun and shooting Germans in the trenches
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:55 AM
Right. But isn't there a sort of cynical satire to be found in repackaging an entire identity native to someone else, and SELLING IT BACK TO THEM as merchandise or under the guise of an American made product.
TrufflesToday at 11:56 AM
Ah, I see what you mean
ROUNDERHOUSE.Today at 11:56 AM
Help I can stop imagining Chiquita Banana holding a gun
TrufflesToday at 11:56 AM
I kept thinking you were talking about wrapping these gods up in American superhero identities
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:56 AM
I mean, fuck if I know how I'm going to make this down th eline
Ah hmm maybe I'll skip that process then
TrufflesToday at 11:56 AM
Rather than as American interpretations of native cultural institutions
nyaalyToday at 11:56 AM
ah
KindlyTurtleClemToday at 11:56 AM
delve deeper into the commodity aspect
TrufflesToday at 11:56 AM
Mhm
nyaalyToday at 11:57 AM
like Dole's sponsorship of the colonization of Hawaii, just for it to be used as a symbol of "Hawaiian pride"
TrufflesToday at 11:57 AM
Man, I can’t stop thinking of the Pizza Hut ad starring Gorbachev
You could definitely get mileage out of satirizing that
WestrinToday at 11:57 AM
@Vessel
Bright + Bright = Westrin
What is this supposed to mean ya fuck
ROUNDERHOUSE.Today at 11:57 AM
I am having troubling throughts of Chiquita Banana and Latin American revolutionaires
Guess this the dead horse I'm beating today
TrufflesToday at 11:58 AM
Chester Cheetah Guevara
nico™Today at 11:58 AM
Cease
TrufflesToday at 11:59 AM
@KindlyTurtleClem are you writing this down
They dug Che out of his grave and shackled him to Fritos products
nico™Today at 11:59 AM
Nestle Perón
nyaalyToday at 11:59 AM
oh god
undead Che being used as a fucking brand mascot
TrufflesToday at 12:00 PM
Now, in the eyes of Cubans, he is indelibly linked to Lays and Fritos
nyaalyToday at 12:00 PM
that seems way too on the nose tho
TrufflesToday at 12:00 PM
It’s exactly as on the nose as it should be
TrufflesToday at 12:00 PM
The Pentagram is a deliberate satire and criticism of the United States and capitalism
TrufflesToday at 12:01 PM
4220 is a bit too scattershot in hindsight
TrufflesToday at 12:01 PM
I could probably honestly cut it into two articles
One about Crowley and one about Parsons