Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Disinformation campaigns are to be launched in the state of Iowa annually between August 9th and August 19th as needed.
In order to reduce the intensity of SCP-XXXX phenomena, sculptors are to be commissioned by the Foundation to ensure that the Iowa State Fair has a "Butter Cow" each year. Research pertaining to religions, cults, and other obscure faiths with connection to bovine idol worship is ongoing.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a phenomenon that effects liquids and semi-solids spread on solid surfaces, primarily occurring within the state of Iowa. In the event that such substances are evenly spread across a surface, the substance will transform into melted butter. Subsequently, the object it is spread across will transform into a slice or slices of toast of proportionate size. The amount of time between application and transformation ranges between thirty seconds and two hours.
The exact source for the SCP-XXXX phenomenon is unknown, though it is theorized that the Iowa State Fair's "Butter Cow"1 is the most likely cause, as all incidents have both occurred during the event and have depicted an image of a cow impressed in the bread. Possible additional factors may include the quality of the sculpture and the presence of the sculpture entirely.
Incident Log: Below is an abridged list of known SCP-XXXX incidents.
Log #: 01
Date: August 9th, 2009
Location: Sioux City, Iowa
Summary: First occurrence. Twitter user Michael McKay posted a picture of a sandwich they had prepared, claiming it had originally been comprised of peanut butter and grape jelly. Notably, the bread with jelly is the only slice affected. Site-319 ordered to be on alert for possible anomaly.
Log #: 04
Date: August 16th, 2010
Location: Des Moines, Iowa
Summary: A pizza delivered to the Grossby residence. Shortly after delivery, Mrs. Grossby called the establishment and complained that they had received a large piece of buttered toast instead of their ordered medium-sized beef and onion pizza.
Log #: 07
Date: August 11th, 2011
Location: Dubuque, Iowa
Summary: Seventeen burger patties transformed into buttered toast at a block party held at the Lang residence. Attendees reported the occurrence to a local AM radio station after consuming the food. All individuals are currently under discreet surveillance in the event a secondary anomaly occurs.
Log #: 09
Date: August 12th, 2011
Location: Prairie du Chein, Wisconsin
Summary: The door to a newly renovated home had transformed into a large piece of buttered toast after an application of paint. Transformation is suspected to have occurred while the house owner was away, as it had been partially devoured by birds.
Log #: 10
Date: August 19th, 2013
Location: Interstate Highway 29
Summary: A car owned by Tom Holley broke down while he was en route to Omaha, Nebraska. Upon inspection, it was found that the pistons had been reduced to charcoal.
It is worth noting that 2014 was the only year where a Butter Cow was not created.
Log #: 14
Date: August 8th, 2014
Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin
Summary: Sylvia Rekkenshire was brought into Gundersen Lutheran Medical Center after her toenails had become small pieces of buttered toast. She commented that, before the incident, she was applying nail polish.
Log #: 15
Date: August 17th, 2014
Location: Burlington, Iowa
Summary: Peter Alan was brought into Great River Medical Center after his buttocks had each became a piece of buttered toast. He refused comment, though brief inspection of his apartment revealed that a bottle of sex lubricant was left on the mattress in his bedroom. Notably, part of Mr. Alan's left gluteal musculature was missing, either lost while in transport or from being removed by Mr. Alan himself.
Log #: 16
Date: August 18th, 2014
Location: Cedar Falls, Iowa
Summary: Daniel Lowery's body from the neck down had transformed into a piece of buttered toast while in the shower, the suspected applicant being Axe brand body wash. He was found dead by his brother Nicholas approximately ten minutes later. Bread was found soggy and deteriorating when police arrived, as the shower had not yet been turned off.