Special Containment Procedures: TODO
Description: SCP-X designates a phenomenon in wherein coffeehouse baristas from the United States are spontaneously replaced with visually identical entities, hereby designated SCP-X-BEAN. SCP-X-BEAN instances are genetically dissimilar to humans — instead, instances are biologically identical to Coffea arabica.
Anomalous properties manifest when an SCP-X-BEAN instance interacts with a prospective customer. The interiors immediately surrounding an SCP-X-BEAN instance undergo gradual transformation in order to fulfill a customer's requests.
Based on footage of SCP-X-BEAN interactions, analysts suggest that SCP-X-BEAN instances regularly translate orders incorrectly; instead, they rely on approximations in meaning between English and their native language, which emphasizes the usage of slogans, recounting of parables, and selling of caffeinated beverages.
Addendum.X.1.codename_intialserving
On 2018-05-11, the St. Louis law enforcement agency tracked down live-leak footage of an individual named Adrian Hobler entering the "Jim Bean" coffeehouse.
«Footage»
CCTV camera footage opens to a window facing the outside, an entrance door, an ornamental chime above the door, and a mahogany wood service table. The perceivable stools and square-tables are empty. A customer walks through the wooden door.
Hobler: Hey.
SCP-X-BEAN : Greetings discerning Consumer.
Hobler: I guess I'm the first brew of the day.
SCP-X-BEAN: Keen Consumer, very keen.
Hobler: Are you being sarcastic? Just, whatever. I would like a, ah, hm.
SCP-X-BEAN: Discerning Consumer, the edicts are plain. May I have your eyes?
SCP-X-BEAN taps the blackboard left of him.
Hobler: Seven dollars for Oreos and mint ice-cream? The Mickydees down the street has that for a buck-fiddy.
The window to Hobler's right darkens in hue. Each table vibrates to a low, barely audible rumble.
SCP-X-BEAN: Impatient Consumer, not precisely. Jim Bean's Summertime specialty had traveled far from distant spaces. It earned its cookies. It fought for its creams. I assure you our ingredients shall remedy any and all REM solicitors. You will sleep less. Much less.
The wooden walls behind Hobler become porous: a thick layer of viscous white cream egresses from the holes.
Hobler: Look, you failed scriptwriter, I came here for a pick-me-up. Not LARPing.
The holes from the walls become engorged and pucker inward, as the viscous cream recedes.
Hobler: I'll have a regular: a small one dollar, no milk, with three sugars.
SCP-X-BEAN: Discerning Consumer, we here at Jim Bean's would recommend Spanish coffee, specifically. No sugars, only black. For black is the color of terror. It is the color of surging hot volcanic streams from silicate mounds. It is a color that has traveled far. It is the color sleep fears.
Hobler: Jesus chri— that's it I'm leaving.
SCP-X-BEAN: Done.
The holes from the walls widen 5cm in circumference. Each hole proceeds to prolapse and extend a pink tendril terminating at a bulbous knob. The tendrils are draped in translucent discharge. As the knobs unfurl axially, a black liquid is spewed outward, which covers the checkered floors. Hobler expresses surprise when the liquid braces against the nape of his neck. Hobler grimaces in pain; his eyes are widened and bloodshot.
Hobler: Oh god!
Steam wafts from affected areas of red-splotchy skin. The skin begins to slough and peel.
SCP-X-BEAN: Transient Consumer, please be considerate. There are others waiting. Please, pickup your cup.
Hobler trips and falls into the pooling black liquid. The steam becomes voluminous as it blankets the camera view. The view becomes completely obfuscated. Hobler's labored breath and continual pleas for help indicate he is still conscious.
After 25 minutes, the screaming stops. The smoke dissipates and the black liquid dissolves. Hobler's whereabouts are unknown.
The door bells chime as another customer enters through the entrance.
SCP-X-BEAN: Discerning Consumer, welcome!