bathroom
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SCP-XXXX-A.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-A and SCP-XXXX-B are currently blocked off from use pending further research. Use of SCP-XXXX to mobilize field agents into the Boston area is currently undergoing discussion.

Description: SCP-XXXX refers to a spatial phenomenon affecting two bathrooms; SCP-XXXX-A (The third stall of the Prudential Center shopping mall men's bathroom.) and SCP-XXXX-B (The fourth stall of the Site-55 men's bathroom on floor 2B of the personnel offices.). When a subject enters either restroom and uses it to release waste, they will be transported to the opposite location ie; if one enters and uses SCP-XXXX-B, they will be transported to SCP-XXXX-A upon conclusion of their use of the facilities. SCP-XXXX first displayed anomalous properties on 26/07/2021, when Researcher Rex utilized SCP-XXXX-B and was teleported to SCP-XXXX-A.

Addendum XXXX.1: The following is a recorded conversation between Researcher Rex and Doctor Everwood, his direct supervisor, immediately upon discovering SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties. The call was made utilizing a Foundation-issued communicator.

<BEGIN LOG>

Everwood: Hello? Rex?

Rex: Um, hi.

Everwood: Hi. What's up?

Rex: … I…

Everwood: Well?

Rex: Just promise you won't laugh.

Everwood: You can't just say that and expect me not to after the fact.

Rex: Oh come on. Please?

Everwood: Rex, just tell me already.

Rex: Fine! I went to the bathroom like twenty minutes ago and now I'm lost.

Everwood: [Laughing] You got lost on your way out of the bathroom.

Rex: I left the stall to wash my hands and I wasn't in the same bathroom anymore!

Everwood: Sure, sure. Is this you telling me that you're not coming back from lunch?

Rex: What? No! I just… look, I don't know where I am, okay?

Everwood: Did you tell HR already? You don't have to call me to tell me you're not coming in, you know. I appreciate the diligence, but it's not necessary.

Rex: I'm being serious, Jay! There's something going on with the bathrooms at 55, and I don't know where I am right now!

Everwood: Alright, I'll humor this. Are there people around?

Rex: Yeah, why?

Everwood: And you haven't considered asking them where you are?

Rex: … No, I… I was too scared by the fact that I'm not at 55 anymore, okay?

Everwood: Well, get on with asking them.

Rex: Fine.

[Away from receiver] Rex: Hi, excuse me. Do you know where we are?

[Slightly distant] Unknown: Uhhh, yeah. This is the mall.

Rex: Which mall?

Unknown: Are you alright, sir? You seem a little agitated.

Rex: Please, just tell me what mall we're in.

Unknown: Prudential Center.

Rex: Thank you. [Close to receiver again] Prudential Center.

Everwood: By Boylston street? How did you get that far out of the Site so quickly? I saw you thirty minutes ago.

Rex: I'm telling you, there is something wrong with the bathrooms in the Site! I wasn't here twenty minutes ago!

Everwood: Keep your voice down, you don't want to cause an information breach, do you?

Rex: Fine. Look, can you just come pick me up?

Everwood: I'd have to requisition a car from Logistics and Transport and miss two hours of work.

Rex: Don't make me wait here until you get out. Come on, I'm the only weirdo in a lab coat here.

Everwood: And another weirdo with one arm in a lab coat is going to improve things?

Rex: Jay, please. I am begging you. I don't have any other means of getting out of here.

Everwood: Why don't you try taking the teleporting toilet back to the Site?

Rex: Come on. I have no way of knowing if that's going to work. Please just come and pick me up.

Everwood: No, seriously. You should try it. Who knows, it might just work. And Site command might just give you an award for discovering a new anomaly.

Rex: I thought they stopped giving those away after the teleporting ants.

Everwood: Just go back to the bathroom, Rex. No pierdes nada por probar.

Rex: You know I don't speak Spanish.

Everwood: It's not my fault you slacked off in high school.

Rex: Are you coming to pick me up or what?

Everwood: Not until after you try the bathroom again.

Rex: Fine. You know what? Fine. I'll go into the bathroom again if it will make you happy.

Everwood: Atta boy.

Rex: [Mutters; undecipherable.]

Everwood: Make sure you get the same stall you were in before. Just in case.

Rex: It's not like I can just suddenly start using the urinals, but sure.

Everwood: I know, buddy, I know.

[There is a ten-second silence.]

Everwood: You back at the bathrooms yet?

Rex: Just walking into them.

Everwood: Okay.

Rex: Alright, I'm in. Now I just need to remember which stall I used. I think it was… uh… the third stall?

Everwood: Don't hurt yourself thinking too hard there, Rex.

Rex: You can't see me, but I am flipping you off.

Everwood: Careful, I'm still your boss.

Rex: Okay, I'm in. Shut the door behind me.

Everwood: As I would hope you do.

Rex: Nothing is happening. I can still hear the people outside.

Everwood: Try taking a seat.

Rex: In a public restroom? Who knows how long ago it was cleaned!

Everwood: Just take off your lab coat and fold it on your lap.

Rex: Fine.

[There is a slight shuffling for twenty seconds.]

Rex: Ugh.

Everwood: Anything?

Rex: No.

Everwood: When did you notice you weren't at 55? Before or after you finished your business?

Rex: I don't remember, what the hell kind of question is that?

Everwood: Just trying to get to the bottom of this. Maybe you have to use the toilet in order to teleport. Maybe you have to, you know, go.

Rex: But I just went not five minutes ago!

Everwood: Well, you're in a mall, aren't you? Go buy some water bottles and start chugging.

Rex: But—

Everwood: Go. By the way, what bathroom did you use before you got there?

Rex: Floor 2B of the personnel offices, why?

Everwood: Thanks. See you soon!

Rex: Wait!

<END LOG>

Immediately following this conversation, Dr. Everwood reported the anomaly to Site-55 command. Researchers were sent to SCP-XXXX-B while a group of field agents were dispatched to SCP-XXXX-A in order to contain the anomaly. Before the field agents could reach SCP-XXXX-A, a civilian utilized the facilities at the location and found themselves transported to Site-55. The civilian was found by present researchers and was quickly placed under Foundation observation prior to being amnesticized and released.

Addendum XXXX.2: Following the sudden appearance of a civilian within Site-55, Doctor Everwood called Researcher Rex using their Foundation-issued communication device. The following is a recorded log of their conversation.

<BEGIN LOG>

Rex: Hello?

Everwood: Hi, Rex! I have good news for you.

Rex: Is it that there are field agents picking me up right now?

Everwood: How did you know?

Rex: Because I am in the back of their van on the way back to 55 now.

Everwood: Well, it looks like I don't have any news for you then.

Rex: I drank five bottles of water, by the way.

Everwood: Oh? Why didn't you use the bathroom then?

Rex: Because the field agents showed up. And I didn't have to go then.

Everwood: I see. All's well that ends well, I guess.

Rex: Except one minor thing.

Everwood: What's that?

Rex: I really have to go now. And I'm stuck in the back of a van for another hour in rush-hour traffic.

<END LOG>




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