Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-A and SCP-XXXX-B are currently blocked off from use pending further research. Use of SCP-XXXX to mobilize field agents into the Boston area is currently undergoing discussion.
Description: SCP-XXXX refers to a spatial phenomenon affecting two bathrooms; SCP-XXXX-A (The third stall of the Prudential Center shopping mall men's bathroom.) and SCP-XXXX-B (The fourth stall of the Site-55 men's bathroom on floor 2B of the personnel offices.). When a subject enters either restroom and uses it to release waste, they will be transported to the opposite location ie; if one enters and uses SCP-XXXX-B, they will be transported to SCP-XXXX-A upon conclusion of their use of the facilities. SCP-XXXX first displayed anomalous properties on 26/07/2021, when Researcher Rex utilized SCP-XXXX-B and was teleported to SCP-XXXX-A.
Addendum XXXX.1: The following is a recorded conversation between Researcher Rex and Doctor Everwood, his direct supervisor, immediately upon discovering SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties. The call was made utilizing a Foundation-issued communicator.
<BEGIN LOG>
Everwood: Hello? Rex?
Rex: Um, hi.
Everwood: Hi. What's up?
Rex: … I…
Everwood: Well?
Rex: Just promise you won't laugh.
Everwood: You can't just say that and expect me not to after the fact.
Rex: Oh come on. Please?
Everwood: Rex, just tell me already.
Rex: Fine! I went to the bathroom like twenty minutes ago and now I'm lost.
Everwood: [Laughing] You got lost on your way out of the bathroom.
Rex: I left the stall to wash my hands and I wasn't in the same bathroom anymore!
Everwood: Sure, sure. Is this you telling me that you're not coming back from lunch?
Rex: What? No! I just… look, I don't know where I am, okay?
Everwood: Did you tell HR already? You don't have to call me to tell me you're not coming in, you know. I appreciate the diligence, but it's not necessary.
Rex: I'm being serious, Jay! There's something going on with the bathrooms at 55, and I don't know where I am right now!
Everwood: Alright, I'll humor this. Are there people around?
Rex: Yeah, why?
Everwood: And you haven't considered asking them where you are?
Rex: … No, I… I was too scared by the fact that I'm not at 55 anymore, okay?
Everwood: Well, get on with asking them.
Rex: Fine.
[Away from receiver] Rex: Hi, excuse me. Do you know where we are?
[Slightly distant] Unknown: Uhhh, yeah. This is the mall.
Rex: Which mall?
Unknown: Are you alright, sir? You seem a little agitated.
Rex: Please, just tell me what mall we're in.
Unknown: Prudential Center.
Rex: Thank you. [Close to receiver again] Prudential Center.
Everwood: By Boylston street? How did you get that far out of the Site so quickly? I saw you thirty minutes ago.
Rex: I'm telling you, there is something wrong with the bathrooms in the Site! I wasn't here twenty minutes ago!
Everwood: Keep your voice down, you don't want to cause an information breach, do you?
Rex: Fine. Look, can you just come pick me up?
Everwood: I'd have to requisition a car from Logistics and Transport and miss two hours of work.
Rex: Don't make me wait here until you get out. Come on, I'm the only weirdo in a lab coat here.
Everwood: And another weirdo with one arm in a lab coat is going to improve things?
Rex: Jay, please. I am begging you. I don't have any other means of getting out of here.
Everwood: Why don't you try taking the teleporting toilet back to the Site?
Rex: Come on. I have no way of knowing if that's going to work. Please just come and pick me up.
Everwood: No, seriously. You should try it. Who knows, it might just work. And Site command might just give you an award for discovering a new anomaly.
Rex: I thought they stopped giving those away after the teleporting ants.
Everwood: Just go back to the bathroom, Rex. No pierdes nada por probar.
Rex: You know I don't speak Spanish.
Everwood: It's not my fault you slacked off in high school.
Rex: Are you coming to pick me up or what?
Everwood: Not until after you try the bathroom again.
Rex: Fine. You know what? Fine. I'll go into the bathroom again if it will make you happy.
Everwood: Atta boy.
Rex: [Mutters; undecipherable.]
Everwood: Make sure you get the same stall you were in before. Just in case.
Rex: It's not like I can just suddenly start using the urinals, but sure.
Everwood: I know, buddy, I know.
[There is a ten-second silence.]
Everwood: You back at the bathrooms yet?
Rex: Just walking into them.
Everwood: Okay.
Rex: Alright, I'm in. Now I just need to remember which stall I used. I think it was… uh… the third stall?
Everwood: Don't hurt yourself thinking too hard there, Rex.
Rex: You can't see me, but I am flipping you off.
Everwood: Careful, I'm still your boss.
Rex: Okay, I'm in. Shut the door behind me.
Everwood: As I would hope you do.
Rex: Nothing is happening. I can still hear the people outside.
Everwood: Try taking a seat.
Rex: In a public restroom? Who knows how long ago it was cleaned!
Everwood: Just take off your lab coat and fold it on your lap.
Rex: Fine.
[There is a slight shuffling for twenty seconds.]
Rex: Ugh.
Everwood: Anything?
Rex: No.
Everwood: When did you notice you weren't at 55? Before or after you finished your business?
Rex: I don't remember, what the hell kind of question is that?
Everwood: Just trying to get to the bottom of this. Maybe you have to use the toilet in order to teleport. Maybe you have to, you know, go.
Rex: But I just went not five minutes ago!
Everwood: Well, you're in a mall, aren't you? Go buy some water bottles and start chugging.
Rex: But—
Everwood: Go. By the way, what bathroom did you use before you got there?
Rex: Floor 2B of the personnel offices, why?
Everwood: Thanks. See you soon!
Rex: Wait!
<END LOG>
Immediately following this conversation, Dr. Everwood reported the anomaly to Site-55 command. Researchers were sent to SCP-XXXX-B while a group of field agents were dispatched to SCP-XXXX-A in order to contain the anomaly. Before the field agents could reach SCP-XXXX-A, a civilian utilized the facilities at the location and found themselves transported to Site-55. The civilian was found by present researchers and was quickly placed under Foundation observation prior to being amnesticized and released.
Addendum XXXX.2: Following the sudden appearance of a civilian within Site-55, Doctor Everwood called Researcher Rex using their Foundation-issued communication device. The following is a recorded log of their conversation.
<BEGIN LOG>
Rex: Hello?
Everwood: Hi, Rex! I have good news for you.
Rex: Is it that there are field agents picking me up right now?
Everwood: How did you know?
Rex: Because I am in the back of their van on the way back to 55 now.
Everwood: Well, it looks like I don't have any news for you then.
Rex: I drank five bottles of water, by the way.
Everwood: Oh? Why didn't you use the bathroom then?
Rex: Because the field agents showed up. And I didn't have to go then.
Everwood: I see. All's well that ends well, I guess.
Rex: Except one minor thing.
Everwood: What's that?
Rex: I really have to go now. And I'm stuck in the back of a van for another hour in rush-hour traffic.
<END LOG>
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thanks to dr whitney for the image!
guaire, lordxvnv