SCP-XXXX: Not Very 𝒩
rating: +4+x
censoredbath.jpg

The bathtub containing SCP-XXXX. Contents redacted.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Containment Level: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: The apartment housing SCP-XXXX has been purchased by the Foundation and fitted with reinforced doors and windows, as well as internal surveillance. The building's remaining tenants are to be considered a Class-G monitoring priority, and future resident selection is to be weighted in favour of those with no history of paranoia, delusions, or abnormal curiosity. All security footage for the building is to be supplied to RAISA personnel for analysis and archival.

Description: SCP-XXXX is located in the bathtub of a three-room apartment in Leeds, England. It measures ~170 centimetres in length, has a mass of ~55 kilograms, and possesses no subjective properties or qualities. While human comprehension of SCP-XXXX is obtainable, the only accurate descriptions of it not based on objective measurements refer indirectly to the inability to describe it. Researchers are advised to note that SCP-XXXX is not indescribable, as that would allow it to be described as such — rather, it simply does not possess any qualities that are themselves able to be described1.

𝒩ness (as it has been termed by DoMc researchers) is an objective-relative (and presumably ordinarily subjective) quality possessed by all existent entities, quantifiable by comparing the entity in question with SCP-XXXX, which acts as a baseline with an 𝒩ness of zero. Research into the exact nature of the quality is ongoing. For the purposes of determining how 𝒩 various objects are in relation to the anomaly, Balance.aic2 has been designed to compare live observation of SCP-XXXX with assorted photographs, videos, and textual descriptions. Certain pertinent results of this process are included below.

Addendum | Balance.aic Output Log (Abridged):

Object or entity 𝒩ness
Foundation-issue ball-point pen 2.8
Apple (Granny Smith variety) 12
Car (1998 Buick Century, owned by Agent Svenska) 11,300
[REDACTED FOR BREVITY]
£10 note 40
Investment portfolio valued at ~£200,000 90,880
Researcher Griffith 22,140,000
Senior Researcher Lester 30,090,000
D-00340 (Former criminal, convicted for repeated arson; experienced pianist) 912,300
D-00341 (Former criminal, convicted for multiple counts of murder) 144,600
[REDACTED FOR BREVITY]
Stuffed toy (New, in packaging) 87
Stuffed toy (Recovered from same apartment as SCP-XXXX, extremely worn; age estimated at >15 years) 2,300
[REDACTED FOR BREVITY]
Damien Pisk (Last known resident of the apartment housing SCP-XXXX) 0
Langdon Pisk (Mathematician and brother of the aforementioned, formerly working at Durham University, England) COMPARISON REJECTED; INTEGER OVERFLOW
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