Site-333, c. 1989, prior to it burning down in 1992.
Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: As SCP-XXXX only affects Site-333's interior, no direct containment procedures are necessary. All personnel stationed at Site-333 are to be briefed on SCP-XXXX and must report any instances of the anomaly taking place in their presence.
Description: SCP-XXXX is an auditory anomaly manifesting at Site-333. Affected personnel report hearing a sound, similar to that of a pre-recorded laugh track used in various popular sitcoms, at seemingly random moments and locations. The source of the anomaly is yet to be traced.
Addendum XXXX.1: The following is an abridged log of recorded SCP-XXXX instances and attempts to intentionally manifest the anomaly.
23/01/1991: Dr. Rutherford cuts his finger while examining documents; SCP-XXXX is heard in his office for approximately five seconds. The anomaly was reported shortly afterward, and SCP-XXXX was classified.
24/01/1991: D-1221 is instructed to cut his right index finger with a sheet of paper in a controlled environment. D-1221 complies, however, SCP-XXXX fails to manifest.
24/01/1991: D-1221 is instructed to cut his left index finger with a sheet of paper in a controlled environment. D-1221 complies, however, SCP-XXXX fails to manifest.
24/01/1991: D-1221 expels flatulence. SCP-XXXX is heard for approximately 5 seconds within the testing chamber.
24/01/1991: D-1221 is ordered to slip on a banana peel in a controlled environment. D-1221 complies, however, SCP-XXXX fails to manifest.
24/01/1991: D-1221 is ordered to slip on a banana peel in a controlled environment. D-1221 refuses to comply and is subdued by Guard Newby. After issuing a beating to D-1221, Newby backs away from him and slips on the banana peel. SCP-XXXX is heard for approximately 7 seconds within the testing chamber.
25/02/1991. Dr. Haaland is informed that his residence has been destroyed by a kitchen fire. SCP-XXXX is heard throughout the personnel offices for 15 seconds, alongside loud clapping.
01/03/1991. Researcher Quinn is informed of his termination due to unrelated protocol violations. SCP-XXXX is heard in the entirety of Site-333, alongside loud clapping and cheering for 20 seconds.
Addendum XXXX.2: Following various noise and disruption complaints caused by SCP-XXXX, Site-333 administration voted on attempting to decommission the anomaly. The ensuing vote resulted in a 5-2-2 score in favor of decommissioning SCP-XXXX. Attached below is an abridged log of attempted measures taken.
Plan: Site-333 open mic comedy night.
Reasoning Conspectus: SCP-XXXX reacts to humorous events, perhaps giving it more of what it wants will sate it and it will go away.
Status: APPROVED
Results: SCP-XXXX failed to manifest once throughout the 4 hours of the event. Decommissioning attempt failed.
Plan: Kill the entire D-class population of Site-333.
Reasoning Conspectus: SCP-XXXX is known to enjoy the suffering of others. By inflicting suffering, we may appease it and cause it to demanifest.
Status: DENIED
Results: Researcher Carlos was admonished for this suggestion. SCP-XXXX was heard throughout the Site when Carlos was informed he would be docked a month of pay for his behavior.
Addendum XXXX.3: On 30/06/1991, Vincent Bohart was scheduled to visit Site-333 and take over from Director Nolan Goode. As he arrived, it was noted that SCP-XXXX began to be audible throughout the Site. Attached below is an interview carried out with Bohart following his arrival and discovery of interaction with SCP-XXXX.
Interviewed: V. Bohart
Interviewee: N. Goode, Site-333 Director
Note: The interview began outside of Site-333 approximately 15 minutes after Bohart's arrival and discovery of interaction with SCP-XXXX.
<BEGIN LOG>
Goode: Hello, Vince.
Bohart: Hey, Nolan. Your Site is laughing at me.
Goode: Yup. I see you discovered our Site's little, uh, problem.
Bohart: Problem? Here I was thinking that it was just some cruel prank on me.
Goode: No, we wouldn't do that to you.
Bohart: That's good to hear at least. So what is this, some sort of anomaly? And what's with the recorder? Don't tell me you're going to interview me.
Goode: I just want to record everything we do for posterity. As for it being an anomaly, yes. Here, let me show you the documentation.
[There is a brief silence as Bohart reviews SCP-XXXX's documentation.]
Bohart: Well I'll be damned. Okay. So you have a canned laugh anomaly affecting your Site. But why does it go off when I enter the building?
Goode: Maybe you're just naturally funny.
Bohart: [Bohart laughs.] You think so?
Goode: Maybe. Or maybe the things that happen to you are funny too.
Bohart: Well, funny things do happen to me. And I think I'm pretty funny too.
Goode: Fair enough. Why don't we go talk inside? It's almost lunchtime.
Bohart: I don't want the mean laughter SCP to laugh at me just for existing though.
Goode: Oh, stop it. We've dealt with it for months, surely a few hours of it won't hurt you.
Bohart: Fine. Does the cafeteria have saltwater taffy?
Goode: It does, yes.
[Bohart and Goode approach the Site. The slight creaking sound of the doors opening is audible after Goode inputs his security code. SCP-XXXX is heard as Bohart enters, with loud clapping, cheering, and whooping.]
Bohart: [Yelling over SCP-XXXX] Yes, yes, very funny. I love an audience! How are we tonight, Atlantic City?
Goode: [Yelling over SCP-XXXX] Come on, this way.
Bohart: Wow, this place is nice. You have a whole cafeteria here?
Goode: Uh, I think that's pretty standard. What do you normally do for lunch?
Bohart: I just grab stuff from the breakroom fridge [chuckles]. It's a great thing about working with the anomalous, plenty of reasons an employee's lunch could go missing.
[Bohart begins walking backwards, looking at the opposite direction.]
Goode: Vince, look out behind y—
Bohart: Whoa!
[Bohart slips and falls on the recently cleaned floor, landing on top of the wet floor sign.]
Goode: You okay there?
[SCP-XXXX becomes uproarious in volume, reaching 180 dB throughout the site.]
Bohart: About as good as someone who just fell could be…
[Bohart attempts to stand but slips on the wet ground again. His left shoe slips off and hits him in the groin.]
Goode: Let me help you up.
[SCP-XXXX's laughter appears to become labored, with various previously laughing voices beginning to cough.]
Bohart: [Gasping] I uh, I don't want to get up and fall again.
Goode: Come on now. Don't be like that.
[Goode helps Bohart to his feet, but his glasses fall from his face and hit the ground. One of the lenses is cracked.]
Bohart: Great. Just fucking fantastic.
[Bohart bends over to pick up his glasses and puts them back on.]
Goode: There you are. Alright, let's go get you an icepack from the cafeteria.
[SCP-XXXX's laughter has been largely reduced to coughing and wheezing and lowering in volume.]
Bohart: Let me just get my shoe. Fucking laughing Site.
[Bohart's glasses drop from his face again, and he accidentally steps on them. The glasses are broken beyond repair.]
[SCP-XXXX's volume has become minimal, with very few voices still wheezing.]
Goode: I uh… I'm sorry Vince. At least the Foundation has good optometrists, right?
Bohart: I guess. Especially now that I'm getting a promotion, right?
[Bohart bends over to pick up his glasses and shoe. As he fully leans over, he expels flatulence.]
[SCP-XXXX produces a final, hacking cough, then ceases.]
Bohart: Oops. Excuse me.
[There is a ten-second silence.]
Goode: Vincent, I think we just successfully decommissioned XXXX.
Bohart: We?! What do you mean we?!
Goode: Okay, don't get mad at me, but…
[Goode turns off his recording device.]
<END LOG>
Note: SCP-XXXX has failed to manifest in Site-333 following this event. Director Goode was commended for utilizing Bohart's accident-prone nature to the benefit of the Site and Dr. Bohart was awarded a free meal voucher redeemable in the Site's cafeteria. The anomaly's documentation is currently pending reclassification to Decommissioned.
Original by NeverMeltIce44
crit by HarryBlank,
LORDXVNV,
Cole 13,
fairydoctor,
DodoDevil, and the brave
MuhajideenFighter of Afghanistan