0in-progress-crit

SCPsitecriticismparty0101
Review Queue:
Ideas

Draft

http://www.scpwiki.com/forum/t-13838927/clouds-only-dreamt#post-4807857

Site Criticism Targets: July (Current Rating) (Current Discussion)

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Site Crit: Justify Votes

[[*user ]], when you post something to the main site, there are two phrases that you acknowledge before posting:

> **Did you get feedback first?**

> It is your responsibility to post only finished, final work. **Site members are not required to justify or explain their votes.**

The wiki isn't short of resources to improve your work before posting. The following links are for your consideration in the future:

[[collapsible show="+[Resources] Click to Access" hide="-[Click to Hide Text]"]]
* [http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/c-89000/help:ideas-critique Ideas Critique forums] to get your concept checked and **##green|greenlit##**, that of which you can find more about [http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-10629348/new-draft-forum-policies here]. This should be your first step.
* [http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/c-50864/help:drafts-critique Drafts Critique forums] to seek reviews on drafts before going to the main site. Note that you need two greenlights if you are  first-time author, that of which you can find more about [http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-10629348/new-draft-forum-policies here].
* [http://www.scp-wiki.net/how-to-write-an-scp How To Write An SCP page] to review the basics.
* The [[[clinical-tone-declassified | Clinical Tone Declassified]]] page can help you nail that tone needed for a successful article.
* [http://www.scp-wiki.net/butterfly-squad-roster Butterfly Squad] are dedicated reviewers and can help you flesh out your ideas and strengthen your drafts.
* [http://www.scp-wiki.net/chat-guide IRC chatrooms] to seek out live critique, if that's more your speed.
* [http://www.scp-wiki.net/yourjouney-part-1 This in-depth guide] on writing your first SCP.
* [http://www.scp-wiki.net/things-what-do-a-thing-an-essay-on-things This essay on generic items] and how they succeed and fail.
* [http://www.scp-wiki.net/so-you-want-to-write-a-humanoid-scp-object This essay on humanoid SCP objects] and how to make them real.
* [http://www.scp-wiki.net/essays-by-a-hack-terror This essay on terror] and how the familiar can be scary.
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Forum Crit: Paste Drafts

//**STAFF NOTICE:** According to the [http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-2295410/how-to-use-this-forum-drafts-and-critiques Draft Forum Guidelines], please do not post your entire draft in the forums. Make a [http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com sandbox page], put your draft there, and link it from the current thread (do not make a new thread). An example of a basic draft forum post can be found in the Guidelines. More instructions on how to format an SCP page can be found in the [http://www.scp-wiki.net/how-to-write-an-scp How to Write an SCP Guide].//

//If the only copy of your draft is in this post, you can recover the text by clicking the 'Last edited on [dd/mm/yyyy], [time] by [username] Show more' section found in lower right corner of this post. Then click 'Show revision' to find the full draft from before. Copy that full draft and paste it into your sandbox page. Please note that 'Show revision' does not change the post back.//

Forum Crit: Review Template

While I try to be thorough, I become less likely to point out recurring issues if I find myself repeating. Keep this in mind as we go further.

Now, let's begin.
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Site Crit: Disclaimer

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[[size smaller]]**Disclaimer:** //Opinions expressed in this review do not reflect the opinions of SCP Wiki staff as a whole. Please respond to [[*user RockTeethMothEyes]] or contact the captain of the Site Criticism Team, [[*user SoullessSingularity]], for any questions or concerns relating to this review.//[[/size]]

Forum Crit: Duplicate Thread

[[*user ]], per the Ideas Critique guidelines found here: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-1019200/how-to-use-this-forum-ideas

> **Don't make duplicate threads for the same concept.** That keeps spam down, prevents forum flooding, and is more efficient for reviewers too when following the development of an idea.

If you must make changes to your idea, please use the edit function in the "Options" tab located at the lower right of each post. Keep in mind that you are allowed to make announcements on your thread about updates to your idea.

If you are having trouble getting attention on your previous thread, it may be worth your benefit to seek out reviewers yourself. You can do so using the [[[chat-guide|IRC chatrooms]]] or the [[[Butterfly Squad Roster]]]. Alternatively, you can message a member of Forum Crit staff and they can bring attention to your thread that way.

General: Delete posts

Staff only delete posts that contain severe rule-breaking content. This is to hold users accountable to their actions. If you like, you may still edit the post to be "ignore" or "disregard" or something to that effect by using the edit function located under "Options" in the lower right of every post.

Stuff That Happens:
Zyn types fast: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-9108924/ask-the-person-above-you-a-question-part-ix#post-4087314

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djkaktus comments a tale: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-7780094/rounderhouse-s-author-page#post-4242410

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Tufto says yes: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-11638163/scp-4465#post-4243872

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Kalinin laments titles in 2019:

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12:12 AM → Kalinin joined (ten.tsacmoc.ac.1dsh.4FBCB80E-CRInys|tibbiM#ten.tsacmoc.ac.1dsh.4FBCB80E-CRInys|tibbiM)
12:12 AM <Kalinin> .lc
12:12 AM <%Secretary_Helen> Kalinin: SCP-4983: I'm dummy thicc and my ghost keeps alerting salarymen (Written 5 hours ago By: KindlyTurtleClem) - http://scp-wiki.net/scp-4983
12:12 AM <%Secretary_Helen> Kalinin: SCP-4965: MaggotQuake (Written 6 hours ago By: RadioactiveRADS) - http://scp-wiki.net/scp-4965
12:12 AM <%Secretary_Helen> Kalinin: SCP-4877: 9.8m/s² (Written 13 hours ago By: Captain Kirby) - http://scp-wiki.net/scp-4877
12:12 AM <KindTurts> Hm I'll pm you TherealSEC if your around to see this
12:12 AM <TherealSEC> I am
12:12 AM <Kalinin> Jesus Christ these titles

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I lament titles during Collab-Con2019

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9:35 PM <RockTeethMothEyes> .lc
9:35 PM <%Secretary_Helen> RockTeethMothEyes: NEW! Wondertainment Anime Body Pillows™! (Written 12 minutes ago By: Nagiros) - http://scp-wiki.net/wondertainment-pillows
9:35 PM <%Secretary_Helen> RockTeethMothEyes: SCP-4565: Smothered To Death By My Waifu's Anime Titties (Written 17 minutes ago By: Zero_Consistency) - http://scp-wiki.net/scp-4565
9:35 PM <%Secretary_Helen> RockTeethMothEyes: SCP-4285 (Written 1 hour ago By: emgy805) - http://scp-wiki.net/scp-4285
9:35 PM <RockTeethMothEyes> oh good lord

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Jazstar calls dibs

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2:49 AM <edna> Someone called dibs on an idea, now calling dibs on other things in someone's I&B thread: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-12183157/joke-parody-of-average-first-timer-mistakes#post-4297835
2:54 AM <RockTeethMothEyes> staff posted
2:55 AM → Tufto and %minmin (halfopped) joined ⇐ NightVolt and thekillerax quit
3:34 AM <+Jazstar> Wtf that's so fricking stupid
3:35 AM <+Jazstar> RockTeethMothEyes: I call dibs on your life. Sorry mate, that's just how it works. Now I'm going to use humour to pretend I'm not serious but actually I'm 100% serious if you use this idea I will hunt you down.
3:35 AM <RockTeethMothEyes> UGH
3:36 AM <RockTeethMothEyes> Can't believe jazzy called dibs on my life's intellectual property
3:37 AM <TheMightyMcB> RockTeethMothEyes: say bye bye to that autobiography you were gonna write
3:37 AM <+Jazstar> I mean, I'm not gonna write it either. But now you can't.

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N_Aepic_Fael calculates dado's taxes: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-12182600/scp-4176#post-4297575

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Zyn says no: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-2321779/scp-3883#post-4400602

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That one time I got backseat modded as a chat admin in #thecritters

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5:07 AM <&RockTeethMothEyes> Idea: Researcher somehow becomes a gun and can only fire itself and move in very small amounts. The Foundation constructs a method for it to communicate by shooting letter targets to discern what happened, but then it jams. The Foundation decides it's too risky to fix and leave it alone in containment forever.
5:07 AM <Iszth> How depressing.
5:08 AM <&RockTeethMothEyes> I get told that a lot.
5:08 AM <DrVladimir> Your kind of not supposed to show your idea unless told to.
5:08 AM <AllegedCitizen> O.o
5:08 AM <&RockTeethMothEyes> Oh sure. One sec.
5:08 AM <DrVladimir> its fine.
5:08 AM <&RockTeethMothEyes> Hey, I have an idea. It's about a researcher that turns into a gun, but then it jams and the Foundation decides it's too risky to fix. Any takers?
5:09 AM <AllegedCitizen> I'd love to hear about that!
5:09 AM <@cybersqyd> it sounds fun yes
5:09 AM <&RockTeethMothEyes> Cool.
5:09 AM <&RockTeethMothEyes> I, uh, that's actually all there is to it.
5:09 AM <&RockTeethMothEyes> DrVladimir: Also, please don't backseat mod.
5:10 AM <DrVladimir> Oh sorry.

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djkaktus's chili recipe

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djkaktus' world famous 10pm chili
derived from djkaktus' mom's delicious taco soup (bless her)
by djkaktus

ingredients:
- 2 lbs chopped sirloin or sirloin strips
- 2 lbs hot sausage or chorizo
- 2 cans Rotel (hottest variety they have, or milder if you are a trout)
- 2 cans creamed corn
- 2 packets ranch dressing powder
- 2 packets taco seasoning powder
- 2 habanero peppers, diced (seeds only if you want your asshole to remind you of the meal after about two hours)

instructions:

1) in a large pan over medium heat, brown your sirloin and sausage. sausage should be cooked thoroughly, but sirloin can be cooked medium / medium rare. cooks quickly so keep an eye on it.
2) season sirloin with some flaky salt and black pepper. don't overdo it because there's plenty of other seasoning coming but I like to get a little on the steak ahead of time to lock down those good juices.
3) in a large crock pot or other large, high-walled pot, add your cooked meats, canned vegetables, and seasoning packets. stir to mix thoroughly. dice your habaneros if you haven't done so yet then add that puppy in. some people might say "djkaktus this is too hot" and those people are both wrong and trout.
3b) fill 2 of your now empty cans of rotel with water and add that.
4) set crockpot or stock pot to low and allow chili to simmer for like 6-8 hours. i did mine overnight and it was fucking delicious. once you're done cooking turn it to the warmer setting and let that bad boy fill your domicile with delicious chili aroma.

serve in warm bowls with grated cheddar or mexican cheese on the side, and also sour cream. both are delicious ways to enjoy this chili.

note: if you put beans in this fucking chili you are dead to me. beans in chili are an abomination and anyone who says otherwise has sold out to big bean. you're going to make this chili the way cowboys made this chili - meat, peppers, done. fucking delicious. your family, friends, and stomach will thank you.

could it be made better with custom seasoning and your own chili paste or whatever? sure, yes. but this is super easy and you can buy all the ingredients for less than 30 bucks. serves like 12 people. less than $3 per bowl, that's a goddamn steal.

eat this chili and your life will be better, your cares will disappear, your kids will get into college and your dick will be the size of a fucking boat. bon appetite.

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Naveil hates bananas: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-13290037#post-4629434

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Object Class Paizuri:

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3:01 PM <ARD> SCP-001: Safe Euclid Keter Thaumiel Maksur Ignosi Archon Apollyon Netorare Paizuri Heimal Ticonderoga
3:02 PM <DrMoned> ARD are Netorare and Paizuri foreign ones?
3:03 PM <Cerastes> oh hey ard
3:03 PM <ARD> DrMoned: yes, they’re Japanese
3:03 PM <ARD> Look me up
3:03 PM <ARD> *em up
3:04 PM <DrMoned> I cant find any reference to Netorare and Paizuri
3:05 PM <DrMoned> they arent listed on the actual esoteric page