SCP-4475 Alternate - Do not delete


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Item Number: SCP-4475 Level 5/4475
Object Class: Keter CLASSIFIED

Threat Level: Undetermined


Special Containment Procedures: All maintenance personnel associated with SCP-4475 — which includes para-engineers, practitioners, and sealers — are to be lactose-tolerant and readily consume 1.5 L of milk per day.

Description: SCP-4475 is a Class-III1 Deific Entity in the form of a 400 m wide bovine organism.

SCP-4475 possesses 25 pairs of ungulate forelimbs — ranging from 100–800 m in length — and 49 udders located on its posterior underside. At the rear of its body, SCP-4475 possesses a large internal bladder and between five and seven powerful sphincters.2 Within the bladder, a number of complex metabolic processes occur, producing biochemical propellant for extraterrestrial propulsion and expelling said propellant through its sphincters. Based on this natural configuration within SCP-4475's anatomy, Foundation-employed aerospace engineers have identified velocities upwards of 4,500 m/s (16,200 km/h) in the vacuum of space.

SCP-4475 is presently located in the Trapezium Cluster — a system of five main stars at a distance of 1,344 light-years (±20 ly) from Earth — and is believed to have originated in the nearby Orion Nebula.

Despite the level of para-technology required to observe SCP-4475, the Foundation and Global Occult Coalition independently became aware of its anatomy long before the first contact. Specifically, over a period of 10 years, 207 different human subjects3 have undergone inexplicable physical teleportation (designated SCP-4475-1) into the interior of SCP-4475's mammary glands.4

Though teleportation into SCP-4475's udders appears random in nature, firsthand eyewitness accounts and audiovisual recordings corroborate the existence of a complex ritual capable of triggering the phenomena. The following process, as compiled by abducted dairy ranchers for the purpose of scientific study, is an apparent baseline for SCP-4475-1:

  1. Tie down or secure the selected cattle. Teleportation is most likely when cows in the upper 90th percentile weight class are selected.
  2. Approach the selected cattle at a 55° angle in the direction of its posterior.
  3. Lubricate the two rear quarters; udder cream is preferable, though not required. Subjects with warmer hands are most likely to be abducted.
  4. Whisper into the cow's ears. Speaking in Ortothan Extraterrestrial Language (OEL) increases the chance of abduction.
  5. Pull on each teat five times.
  6. At this point in the ritual, all cattle are expected to emit bovine flatulence. Inhaling, and in some cases, enjoying the toxic olfactory response leads to an immediate disappearance and re-emergence inside a random SCP-4475 udder.


INTERVIEWED: Wisconsin dairy rancher Dennis Miller

NOTE: After exploring SCP-4475 for an unknown length of time, Dennis Miller teleported back into his pickup truck, 100 meters from the experiment location. In a trance state, Miller attempted to siphon gasoline from the vehicle and was discovered after having consumed approximately 4 L of gasoline.

After speaking with him, Miller was given immediate medical treatment. The rancher later died in medical custody.

<Begin Log>

MILLER: Damn, all it took was a blink and suddenly I wasn't milkin' my cow Bessie no more. I came to in a large cave, which sort of felt and looked like some of them meats we ship over to the McDonald's guys. It just went on, and on, and on. The strangest thing is, there wasn't any air, or at least I don't think there was. My feet were leaps above the ground like I was floating in a big pool of milk, but I could open my eyes, I could see everything 'round me.

MILLER: Yeah, you know what? There were others up there. And you know what, they were happier up there than we are down here.

MILLER: You gotta let me go back, you just have to. I had a wife 'n… Kids 'n… Y'know, in-laws up there — but I didn't dread 'em one bit!

MILLER: When you're inside Bessie, time moves differently up there. Well, I mean, it reminded me of Bessie, so that's what I've been callin' it. It was like a little piece of heaven for both Bessie 'n I. The others called it different, but we all somehow knew the same name, even if we could feel they were different. Because that's the thing: she goes by many names, and when you're there, she's open for all of us.

MILLER: You ain't got sun or no night to see. It's just miles and miles of purple, pink, and medium rare steak. Was spongy, too, you just stick your arm or your hand in the wall and it gets trapped in it. Clusters and clumps, and they all got these different smells that you can still experience even though there wasn't no air. And they were all… Wonderful. [Pause.] You don't think so? [Pause.] Huh. No, you wouldn't get it.

MILLER: So I just kept exploring, seein' what Bessie had to offer me. I started goin' south and found the Swampers and the Gassers and Methane Danes: a bunch of these fellas and ladies in horned cheese-hats. They all lived out there. They were all happy, but they didn't have to go come back here like I did.

MILLER: I saw the stars out there. And I mean I really saw them. I looked out a hole in Bessie's side and the stars all looked back in through the fires.

<End Log>

ADDITIONAL COLLECTED DATA: Approximately 10% of ranchers used in experimentation continued the ritual to its end without further instruction. Any persons under the influence of psychoactive drugs such as cannabis and psilocybin mushroom, with direct access to cattle, also tend to initiate and complete the ritual without proper instruction. Additionally, this ritual is consistent with common anomalous milk evocation practices, suggesting a link between the two phenomena.

In all observed cases of SCP-4475-1, subjects lose the memory of the scenario within 3 hours of returning, suggesting a latent amnestic property in SCP-4475 milk secretions.

In addition, all persons having undergone SCP-4475-15 have been diagnosed with degenerative neurological disorders after entering Foundation custody. Identified diagnoses include brain cancer, dementia, Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), and brain aneurysm after the spinal fluid was detected having transformed into milk. All diagnosed persons have experienced loss of life anywhere from three weeks to two years after diagnosis.

Addendum 4475.1


In August 2009, Foundation archaeological researchers attached to the Archaeological Survey of India (ASI) discovered large fossilized bovine remains (between 7–25 m in length) in an excavation on the island of Khadirbet, India. The remains were located at the source of a non-anomalous terrestrial milk flow.

At a depth of 75 meters below the remains, researchers found a temple complex — carbon dated to approximately 2600 BCE, aligning with the emergence of the mature Harappa Civilization6 — intricately carved from limestone with complex geometric patterns. Littered throughout the temple were various murals and frescoes dating far more recently than the temple itself. The findings contained Sanskrit inscriptions as well as depictions of three different groups of people:

  • GROUP A depictions were discovered near the anterior entrances leading into the ruins. The fresco displays a five-by-five array of people with serpentine necks and heads facing leftward, which fills the wall from floor to ceiling. Each person possesses forked tongues, while thaumaturgical runes (similar in design to those used in the summoning of eschatological entities) line the sides. The group is depicted as enfeebled are described as having "only skins and never bone."
  • GROUP B depictions line the 30 m wide internal chambers in the deepest part of the ruins. The persons are depicted in ink with traces of bronze beryllium, and take the form of silhouettes wearing ornate gold armor. A large feminine figure — believed to be the Egyptian goddess Hathor — fills the center of the image and is depicted pointing toward miniaturized representations of GROUP A. GROUP B persons are depicted below her, pointing spears at the persons in GROUP A. Each member of GROUP B is connected via umbilical cord with Hathor.
  • GROUP C are depicted at the edge of an open crevice in the lowest room of the temple. GROUP C is a collection of both GROUP A and GROUP B and stands together and appear to be drawn in such a way as to look toward the only entrance into the room. Notably, the scene appears unfinished. No expeditions into the crevice have been authorized.

Above the center of the ruins, a dome-shaped ceiling depicts astrological star maps surrounding an astronomically-accurate inscription of the Orion Nebula. At eye-level, the following warning is engraved on a white stone placard in Indus Script:

"Beware the mother that gives, beware the children that take. For Hathor gave and gave until her heat decayed. Great starless darkness left in the womb."

April 29, 2020


Two persons materialized spontaneously at the shore nearest the Dholavira temple complex. Site-65 task force personnel detained the two, who had busied themselves in the consumption of seawater as a replacement for dairy product. Initially, they self-identified as an Orthothan translator and a Fifthist vlogger/preacher, respectively, before passing out from salt-induced cardiac arrest.

The following interview was performed after stomach pumping offloaded 6 L of seawater from each of them.

▼ RAISA:/files/SCP-4475/ ▼


<Begin Log>

AGENT SINGH: [In Gujarati.] A vistaara pratibandhita chhe, tame kem chho?

UNIDENTIFIED FIFTHIST: Horrors, upon you, sir.


SINGH: [In English.] Tell me, exactly — how did you two manifest near our dig site?

[Each person responds simultaneously.]

FIFTHIST: Oh, shit, are my eyes spiral? Or are they — are they blurry with astigmatism, like yours? ORTOTHAN: Milking a cow.

[Singh adjusts his glasses and turns his head to the Orthothan.]

SINGH: Yes, it would seem that's the main mode of transit to SCP-4475. But not back.

ORTOTHAN: Hathor —

FIFTHIST: [Interrupting her.] — Mother Superior, Barbarossa-Texas, White Smoke Lines, Kamadhenu, Gift-giver. There's, like, a ton of good names. Tricks the YouTube algorithm so I can get that spicy SkillShare sponsorship. Right now, all's I got is monetization thanks to Moosphere, Inc. Whatever that is. I can't make any teat tugging videos, too graphic, too real.

SINGH: Currently, SCP-4475 has been classified. Nothing's reached the public.

FIFTHIST: HATHOR. M-O-M-M-Y. Stop adding numbers, it overcomplicates the nature of MOM. And oh. I hadn't posted them yet, again, afraid it might get demonetized. I know there's a viewer base out there who's got a love for quality lactose. We try to teach them, but no one has time to raise an entire cow, much less un-hamburger or steal veals.

ORTOTHAN: My companion and I bought the cow. I milked it; he vlogged it with his phone.

FIFTHIST: My suggestion was putting meats together, back again, from Happy Meals. Un-hamburger-ing grants meaty insight. Feel the Cow-Mom™. [Under his breath.] Shit, that's a good title. Gotta save that for a later video.

ORTOTHAN: Unfortunately, ours is not "two-way" teleportation. We expected to arrive here with a piece of Hathor. The air tastes so dry here.

[Singh crosses his arms, sighing, and turns toward the Fifthist.]

SINGH: So… Is there a secondary phenomenon which prevents you from teleporting there again?

FIFTHIST: Rituals require certain freshness; ask Miss Báthory. That's what our congregation was founded on! Well, unfortunately, we were the only two to realize MOMMA's not infinite, and she's got a cycle. As much as you or I. Some words were said… words turned to fists, some fingerbones were removed, etc.

ORTOTHAN: Alex and I tried to steal veal. We got caught.

SINGH: I'm not following. There are multiple iterations of SCP-4475?

"ALEX": Mother-Superior, no. There can only ever be one of her. But sometimes the flesh lumps what it lumps. Our family kicked us to the curb and took back our rightful lump! They thought we were hurting Momma. Said Momma is ill. But even they know her thermodynamic heaters aren't what they used to be.

SINGH: [To the Orthothan.] What?

ORTOTHAN: [Sighing.] Thermodynamic heat death. Something like that.

SINGH: How do you two know this?

ORTOTHAN: I— I saw outside of Mother's anus: her rectal fires do not produce the same blue or white Stars as they used to, I'm afraid. Hathor's grown old.

"ALEX": Stars. Those light-bulbs in the sky got a warranty.

ORTOTHAN: Mhm, agreed. Which is why we sought out Hathor's flesh. We grew some pretty big bones back in the day. I would like to return to that time.

"ALEX": So sayeth the xenophile, polygat! Cheers, and thanks for all the fish!

<End Log>

NOTE: These two persons were later identified as Isabelle Archibald and Alexander Valentin and were taken into Foundation custody for potential cognitohazardous infection.

Addendum 4475.2


Updates in the exploration of SCP-4475 are as follows.

UPDATE — May 1, 2020: Footage captured from a private live stream recorded on Timothy Wickman's YouTube account is as follows.


UPDATE — March 21, 2021: At exactly 0507 UTC+05:30, both Archibald and Wickman commit ritualistic suicide. The cadavers were covered in empyrean symbology: cranial runes described co-ordinates depicting SCP-4475's position in space, while pentagonal patterns upon the hand, ankles, and knees were inscribed with over 2,500 Ortothan Extraterrestrial Language (OEL) logograms for movement, evocation, and transmission.

A manifesto describing the "Church of the Fifth Hytooth[sic]" was written by the two using toilet sheets, copy paper, and old books provided. Both were in separate containment cells.

UPDATE — May 12, 2022: Osteoporosis increases by 6% worldwide. A statistically significant number of people in India report that astronomical objects are less visible with the naked eye.

UPDATE — August 14, 2024: Ranchers are perpetually teleported via increasingly average milking procedures. They are recovered with significant transfigurations to their skeletal structure.

UPDATE — September 21, 2026: SCP-4475's exterior is fully recorded by multi-faceted optics and three-dimensional telemetry equipment onboard 623-COWBELL: an automated extra-solar observation probe launched to locate and identify celestial entities with the potential for sapience.

UPDATE — December 01, 2027: Osteoporosis and varying bone diseases increases by 13% worldwide. Of note, over 56% of children born in this year exhibit lighter-density in their bones. A statistically significant number of people in India, China, Africa, and Europe report that astronomical objects are less visible with the naked eye.

UPDATE — June 16, 2031: Mass hysteria occurs worldwide as the skies become dark for a span of several weeks — the cause unclear. Some witnesses described the sky as a "starless black".

UPDATE — December 21, 2039: 624-EXOTHERM-CB was launched into SCP-4475's controlled space with hay bacillus bacteria (Bacillus subtilis) spore samples, which were drastically altered in appearance, genealogy, and species. The debated thesis proposed by researchers primarily centered on SCP-4475's panspermic anomalous properties. The hypothesized synthesis and exploitation of excessive humanoid transformation prompted Foundation expedition proposals.

UPDATE — November 27, 2046: Following successful thaumaturgic manufacture of a hybridized spacefaring vessel — which was based primarily on existing Temporal Sync and Bifrost Superluminal Engine para-technologies — a manned exploration of the Orion Nebula was issued. Upon reaching their destination, Foundation researchers discovered an estimated 450,000 bovine corpses matching SCP-4475's description. Although most of the corpses were discovered to be the size of SCP-4475, the largest examined was approximately 32 km and continued to leak proto-dairy substances at a flow rate of 300 L per second.


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