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PARACON 2019 — You're Invited!
🗿 sayfensound 8/20/2019 (Sun) 08:23:52 #45829013
Paracon 2019 Venue!
Greetings Watchmen, I am proud to announce the first ever Paracon!
Ever want talk about those spookums you just can't quite place, IN PERSON?? Come on down to Paul's Bar and Bowling at 346 Clark St. Ruthels, Iowa on Halloween and have a beer with a couple Watchmen like yourself. Talk about your monsters, your aliens, your alien monsters even!
There's a grand forest next to the place… legends older than old tell of things lurking in those branches. The lot of us can all go down and investigate these creeeeeeepy happenings.
Turnout is expected to be in the hundreds, so be ready for one hell of a wild night!
The pair of conspiracy theorists stared at the woman at the bar, who winced. "This is it? Jesus, I thought I'd get a few more people. Whatever, big groups attract unnecessary attention. I'm sayfensound, but you can call me Katie!" She grabbed the two Paraconner's hands, shaking them vigorously.
"Kirkjack. Or, well, Jack— if we're going by real names." One of them spoke as they pulled away from the handshake.
"And I'm also Jack." The other said, uncomfortably shrinking in stature. "But, uh, I guess you can call me Jack W?"
"Huh. Only two people come and you're both named Jack. That's kinda… wack!" Katie shot finger guns towards the Jacks, who were sick of that rhyme already. "Yes, I know, I'm a moderator and I'm fun. It's possible."
"Okay… so, what's our first activity?" Jack glanced around at the empty bar, reassuring himself that this Paracon was going to be fun.
Katie burst into a menacing cackle. "Oh, my Watchmen, we're going to participate in the most dangerous ritual of them all." Holding up her bottle of beer, she took a swig before setting it down. "Alcohol!"
After the Watchmen began to feel a little buzz, Katie cleared her throat. "Everyone, everyone! Come on, let's start with our second activity. Spooky stories! About real spookums!"
The much-more-sober Jack W smiled— just what he'd been waiting for! Reaching into his backpack, he pulled out a laptop, which he flipped open. "C'mere, you two. I wanna show you guys something real cool…" As a file loaded on the screen, the Watchmen huddled around. "I saw something… I didn't wanna post it on the forums, because they're probably being watched, but here, they aren't listening. So let me— oh, oh, it's starting!"
The video was in a dark, quiet forest, where a single wolf sat, howling at the sky. The camera shook, blurring as the wolf disappeared, suddenly replaced by a humanoid figure. It was only visible for a few frames, but Jack W clicked the pause button just in time to stop at a slightly blurry frame, where they could see a light layer of brown fur on its skin. He unpaused, and its red eyes flashed before the video ended.
Turning to the pair of Watchmen, Jack W spoke. "I found this on a broken camera I found in the middle of a forest by—"
"Fake!" Jack blurted. "That's totally fake. Like, dude, it looks so edited."
"N-no it's not!" Jack W stammered, looking to Katie. "You don't think its fake, do you?"
Katie awkwardly crossed her arms. "Well—"
"She does! Otherwise she wouldn't be a moderator, especially if she thought every piece of grainy footage was real, right Katie?"
"Right…"
"Now, tell me, Mr. W." Jack jabbed Jack W's chest with his finger. "Do you think we're dumb, Mr. W?"
"I'd appreciate if you'd call me Jack W—"
"That's not the issue at hand, Mr. W! Do. You. Think. We're. Dumb?"
Jack W paused. "No?"
"I heard that hesitation!"
"I don't think you're dumb, trust me!"
"Well that's not what I heard!"
"Boys, boys!" Katie raised her voice. She'd trained just for this situation— moderating real life groups might be harder than online forums, but she'd still learned a lot about how to diffuse conflict. And so, she spoke. "I think we all need to calm down. Have another drink, maybe? How's that sound?"
Jack harumphed. "Good to me."
Not wanting to get yelled at again, Jack W sighed. "Sure, I guess," he said, closing his laptop. Nobody would ever believe him…
"Screw the government!" Slurred Katie as she held a bottle in the air. "They're keeping us from seeing the real world!"
"Yeah!" Jack screamed. "I wanna see what they're hiding!"
Meanwhile, Jack W sat at the bar quietly, hunched over a glass of sparkling cider.
"Buddy!" An arm slung around his shoulder as Katie frowned. "You look bored! What's wrong? Wanna go to the woods?"
"The woods?" Jack W pushed her arm away. "For what?"
"To explore, dummy! Do what we do, y'know?"
In the back of the bar, Jack collapsed onto the ground, groaning.
"You know, I don't think he's okay," Jack W said.
"Whatever!" Katie grabbed his hand, yanking him up as they rushed outside.
"Where are we going?" He asked as the pair ran into the woods. "Um."
Katie didn't say anything, and simply kept sprinting, drunkenly stumbling every so often.
Her running halted as a scurry resonated from a nearby bush.
"What is that?" Katie pondered as Jack W stared, unfazed. "Could it be—"
Her thoughts were interrupted by a noise — a droning chatter — shivering down Katie's back as the bush shook wildly.
"It's a jackalope! or- or a fabled Northern Chupacabra, I've heard of 'em eating up pigs and stuff in the Mid-West, this could be the break of a lifetime! A true spookum out in the wild! We could be millionaires! We could…"
As Katie continued to ramble about royalties, Jack W let out a sigh. He reached into his back pocket, pulled out a small bottle of perfume, and spritzed it right into Katie's face. With a short groan, she passed out, landing in a well-placed pile of leaves.
After making sure she was alright, Jack W paced towards the bush, prying open its thorny branches. A squirrel rested inside — clasping curiously onto an abandoned megaphone.
"Ugh…" Jack W placed their palm on their forehead. "I hate my fucking job…"
Katie's eyes crinkled open to the flickering light of her hotel room.
"Finally, you're awake." Sitting up, she noticed Jack W by the door. "You passed out last night, so I brought you here. You really shouldn't drink so much."
"Where's…" Her head pounded momentarily before subsiding. "Where's the other Jack?"
"The hospital. He had alcohol poisoning. Or a concussion from falling over. I didn't stay around to find out."
"Oh."
"So… I think this Paracon is over?"
"Yeah." Katie rubbed her head. "I guess."
"See you around on the forums," Jack W said before stepping into the hallway. Once out of the hotel and into his car, he reached for his radio. "Agent Mckinley here. The Parawatch Wiki is just as oblivious as ever."
GoI Specialist Jack Mckinley lumbered away from the hotel, wishing he hadn't ever shown interest in this stupid group. At least the others actually did things…