cack hub

Bitchin poster made by WydnessWydness

looking for pattern screamers, are we? Fuck off, pal.

What's this?

The cack hard cinematic universe is home to a bunch of dumb stupid stuff, mostly weird crack fiction. Cack fiction, if you will. This is a world where things always take a turn for the stupid, farcical, and idiotic.

Hidden in this collapsible are the general 'rules' which we adhere to when writing within the cack hard cinematic universe. If for whatever reason you want to write crack.

crack fic? More like cack fic!

Home to shameful crack fiction which truly, bluely should not have seen the light of day!
Includes such bar-lowering classics as:

SCP Name Author
SCP-4491 "pulp ficktion" Gabriel JadeGabriel Jade
SCP-020-J A Pail Comparison Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
scp-4498 The Plurality of Jack Bright djkaktusdjkaktus

Tale Author(s)
Cack Hard Gabriel JadeGabriel Jade and Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Cack Hard 2: Revengeance : Reloaded Gabriel JadeGabriel Jade and Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Boiled, Scrambled, and Fried WydnessWydness
Let me cure her, daddy WydnessWydness
Seven Days with Mr. Fish Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Cured Hams Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Classy Carlos Goes To Therapy Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Moon Champion's Cinco de Mayo Extravaganza Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Let Sleeping Dogs Lie: A Play in Two Acts Gabriel JadeGabriel Jade
"A Tale Of Petty Revenge" or, "Dr. Cimmerian microwaves a slice of unwrapped Kraft American Singles in the Site-19 break room for two minute" WydnessWydness and Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Mobile Toddler Force RockTeethMothEyesRockTeethMothEyes
S&C Paper Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
(Not The) Foundation Fight Club Ellie3Ellie3
SCP-ide Ellie3Ellie3
Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring... AyersAyers

GoI Formats Author(s)
Critter Profile: Wobbles! Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini and DrAnnoyingDogDrAnnoyingDog
The Corncrake of Destiny Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
Project Kōza, 1942 Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini

what the people are saying

"Fuckin' bottledick became a canon. The bar has now burrowed into the ground"
- WerylliumWeryllium

"If cack hard becomes a canon I will do a big frown. >:("
- DarkStuffDarkStuff

"Where's the reference to westrin playing pretend pirates"
- WestrinWestrin

"This is easily the worst thing I have ever read. Its obnoxious to the point of insanity. You should be ashamed of yourself."
- SecretCrowSecretCrow

"I don't like you."
- magi093magi093

Are you sold yet?
Well, that's fine, go ahead and slam that downvote button. The rating module is right here, coward!

rating: +17+x


And thats all I wrote.
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