Cars

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Due to the difficultly of detecting SCP-XXXX prior to a "Meet Cute" event, containment is primarily focused on information suppression post-incident. SCP-XXXX-B instances are to be impounded for study, and are to be stored in Vehicular Containment Garages as appropriate, pending destruction.

If SCP-XXXX is detected prior to a "Meet Cute" event, an attempt is to be made so that SCP-XXXX-A individuals are to be restrained or otherwise made unable to participate in these events, and are to be interviewed as any civilian who was affected by an anomalous event, monitored until SCP-XXXX symptoms cease, and then released following administration of appropriate amnestics.

Description: SCP-XXXX is an phenomenon primarily affecting women and motor vehicles in rural areas of the United States, Italy, Australia, China, and Russia. In humans, SCP-XXXX is primarily characterized by the sudden development of mechanophilia1, in spite of any any previous romantic or sexual inclinations, or the lack thereof. Individuals who are affected by SCP-XXXX (henceforth SCP-XXXX-A) have several consistent characteristics:

  • All subjects are over the age of forty-five
  • All subjects both identify as and are biologically female; transgender and transsexual individuals seem to be unaffected by SCP-XXXX.
  • All subjects reside in areas where the human population within 10.7 square kilometers is less than 6,000 individuals
  • All subjects are physically capable of walking unassisted
  • No subject has been in a sexual or romantic relationship for at least four years, three months.
  • All subjects have at least one child; the presence of grandchildren in the family seems to increase the chance that SCP-XXXX will affect an individual.

Due to the aforementioned mechanophilia, SCP-XXXX-A instances will actively seek out automobiles, diverting from their daily routines and oftentimes putting themselves in physical danger in the process. SCP-XXXX-A instances show particular interest in models that are no longer being manufactured; studied individuals have shown the highest signs of sexual arousal in the presence of cars, particularly automobiles that were manufactured within fifteen years of SCP-XXXX-A's birth year.

Automobiles2 affected by SCP-XXXX are termed SCP-XXXX-B. SCP-XXXX-B instances seem to be "paired" with anywhere between one and four SCP-XXXX-A instances, and are capable of self-locomotion. If SCP-XXXX-B is driven, it will often divert its course towards areas where SCP-XXXX-A instances live. It should be noted that SCP-XXXX-B instances are not sentient or sapient, and seem to simply be reacting to the SCP-XXXX anomaly itself, rather than acting of its own volition.

In the presence of SCP-XXXX-A instances, SCP-XXXX-B will stall and fail to start. SCP-XXXX-B instances being driven will have their drivers lose all control over their car, and will often attempt to exit the vehicle. SCP-XXXX-A instances will approach SCP-XXXX-B instances and attempt to interact with them. Despite a lack of response from SCP-XXXX-B instances, the SCP-XXXX-A instance will behave as if though they were capable of speech, carrying on one-sided conversations; the most common topics in these include automobile maintenance, fuel prices, the cities of Dearborn and Detroit, Michigan, Henry Ford's anti-semetic views, and seatbelts.

SCP-XXXX-A individuals will attempt to regularly meet with any SCP-XXXX-B instance in their area, often fixating on one or two particular instances. SCP-XXXX-B instances are often broken into for the sake of SCP-XXXX-A apparently achieving some form of sexual gratification, but in almost all cases, SCP-XXXX-B instances are not stolen.

In 92% of cases, SCP-XXXX-A and -B instances will organize what has been designated as a "Meet Cute" event. In this event, the SCP-XXXX-A instance will find one or more SCP-XXXX-B instances, who will follow the former to an area of road that is otherwise unoccupied. SCP-XXXX-A will stand in the center of the road, and attempt to mimic vehicular sounds for anywhere from five minutes to ten hours. Eventually, there is one of two outcomes:

  • The SCP-XXXX-B instance(s) will seem to lose interest, and shortly thereafter, all anomalous properties.
  • The SCP-XXX-B instances will accelerate towards SCP-XXXX-A instances at speeds of at least 97 kph, regardless of whether or not the SCP-XXXX-B instance is capable of reaching this speed non-anomalously. If impact occurs, the SCP-XXXX-A instance is killed in 76% of cases, with survivors often left physically disabled for the rest of their lives. Autopsies on deceased SCP-XXXX-A instances following a "Meet Cute" event show a 500% larger amount of dopamine in their brains than other individuals who have died in similar accidents.

If either the SCP-XXXX-A is injured or impaired in such a way that a "Meet Cute" cannot occur (i.e. breaking a leg, being physically bound, leaving their place of residence for a period of at least ten days), then all anomalous properties will gradually cease. SCP-XXXX-A individuals will report a complete lack of interest in cars beyond driving them following this, and will lose all mechanophiliac tendencies.

SCP-XXXX was initially discovered following a mass "Meet Cute" event in █████████████, Ohio, USA, which was originally recorded as an Extranormal Event (See Below) due to its apparently isolated nature. However, a reoccurring pattern emerged with incidents occurring in several other countries, with similar circumstances. The surfacing of a security tape from a gas station in Colorado showing a woman engaging in the "Meet Cute" event with a pickup truck, along with three similar events in California, Maine, and Nebraska, led the Foundation to investigate these incidents as a pattern.

As of March 2017, there have been over 250 recorded instances of SCP-XXXX, with the first instance believed to have been some time between 1970 and 1972. More possible instances are currently under investigation.

Original Documentation:

Designation: EE-1992-46
Description of Event: Ten women, between the ages of 45 and 69, were found dead in the middle of the main road leading into █████████████, Ohio from the south, apparently all having been run over by "vintage" cars brought into town as part of a traveling show; the most recent car involved was dated to 1970. The cars were found to not have been driven in the last decade, and, in fact, five of the involved cars were rendered unable to function normally.
Date of Occurance: ██/██/1992
Location of Occurance:█████████████, Ohio
Follow-Up Actions Taken: Autopsies covertly performed on victims, and cars deconstructed; neither have anomalous properties. However, the deceased were noted to have much higher dopamine levels in their system than is normal in the event of vehicular death.

Video Log SCP-XXXX-205-199: The following is an excerpt from a Youtube entitled "Senile Woman Talks To Car, Police Come, WTF?!" . This video is believed to depict an interaction between an SCP-XXXX-A instance (later identified as Maria "Bobbie" Frank of Sistersville, West Virginia, designated SCP-XXXX-A-205) and an SCP-XXXX-B instance (SCP-XXXX-B-199, a 1980 Ford Fairmont). Ms. Frank was severely injured in a "Meet Cute" event six weeks after this recording was uploaded onto Youtube in May 2016, and died in the hospital two weeks later.

SCP-XXXX-A-205: Well, no, I'm afraid I don't have much of a taste in German cars, I always prefer them American-made. Oh, at a former Chrysler plant? That's adorable! And you're the only one that came out blue in your lot?
Unidentified Male (Owner of SCP-XXXX-B-199): Lady, can you stop? I have kids I need to pick up from school-
SCP-XXXX-A-205: Don't be rude! We're having a conversation. Young people these days, I swear. Pity about that license plate, though, all dinged up; you've been run into the back of a garage a number of times, haven't you? Oh, that's dreadful. Some people need to know when to step on the breaks and when to turn on the gas.
At this point, the unidentified male produces a cell phone from their pocket. The video cuts to approximately three minutes later, when police arrive, presumably to take SCP-XXXX-A-205 into custody. SCP-XXXX-A-205 addresses one of the police cruisers; despite the car being unmanned, it proceeds to accelerate forward and severely damage SCP-XXXX-B-199.
SCP-XXXX-A-205(while assaulting police cruiser): You brute! You've wrecked his bumper! That was the nicest part of him!

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