Dark Sushi File No. 795-D "Earth"

The Earth floating in the darkness of outer space.

Overview

Earth is a planet in our solar system that is home to many forms of life, including human beings. The author of this Dark Sushi File assumes that humanity — or the vast majority of it — lives on Earth.
Earth is the third planet from the Sun; Venus, the second, is a turbulent planet with high temperatures, while Mars, the fourth, is a world of freezing ice. It is this perfect distance that allows for the existence of liquid water, making Earth a planet that harbors abundant life.
It's central core is composed primarily of iron and nickel, with a water-rich surface and an atmosphere made up mainly of nitrogen and oxygen extending from the surface to an altitude of about 100 km, forming a layered structure similar to a mille-feuille pastry. Although their compositions differ, massive bodies such as planets and stars typically exhibit a spherical, layered structure due to the effect of gravity.
Earth rotates on its axis once a day and revolves around the Sun once a year, much like the motion of a spinning top¹. This is the heliocentric theory, first proposed by the Polish scientist Nicolaus Copernicus. According to the heliocentric theory, the Sun is the center of the universe, and Earth rotates and orbits alongside the other planets. This also parallels the relationship between the sushi dohyō² and the Sushiblader.

Sushiblade Usage

Attack

Defense

Speed

Stamina

Weight

Usability

It's massive weight is probably it's most attractive trait.
A standard piece of sushi weighs at most 20 g, and even ramen weighs just over 1 kg, bowl included. The mass of the Earth is approximately 5.9724 × 10²⁴ kg. The comparison is absurd.
The Earth is not typically considered sushi. This posed a serious problem when attempting to transform the Earth into a Sushiblade, but that issue was resolved using the method described later.
It is also possible to achieve one of the Dark Sushi's objectives by utilizing its abilities as a Sushiblade, though that will be discussed in the Episode section further on.
Since it is an entire planet and not private property, be aware that any use of it will cause problems.
Needless to say, using it in official matches makes no sense, as it is far too large to fit into any Sushiblade dohyō. After all, Sushiblade duels generally take place on Earth itself.

Other Uses

The human race originated on and lives on this planet. All humans — whether allies or hostile to us, the Dark Sushi — live entirely on this planet. Human migration to other planets or even other dimensions is conceivable, but at present, that future seems remote.
The fact that it is the only human planet is an important factor to consider when examining Earth.

Episode

One of Dark Sushi's primary objectives is world domination. The world is a place where various interests are carved up by the military might of different nations and by anomalous organizations. The organization's ultimate goal has always been to place the world in Dark Sushi's hands, yet that concept remained out of reach — a fantasy.

But I had an epiphany when I saw the centrifugal force of the caviar sushi in action at the Leaning Tower of Pisa’s Underground Sushiblade Colosseum.
If we could turn the Earth—the very ground we stand on — into a Sushiblade and, much like salmon roe or caviar sushi, simply fling humans belonging to hostile organizations out of the atmosphere, wouldn't that imply that Dark Sushi had succeeded in conquering the world?

This idea had many problems, but the biggest one of all was how to turn the Earth into a Sushiblade.
A Sushiblade is a piece of sushi that spins. But what is sushi? Master Yami spins ramen noodles, and other Dark Sushibladers do similar things.
They are able to turn things like a hamburger and ramen noodles into Sushiblades because they recognize them as sushi.
However, if you were to ask Sushibladers whether the Earth is sushi, at least a hundred people would give you the same answer: No. In that case, they would likely scoff at the idea of ​​eating the Earth. Naturally, they would mock me, too.

So, what does sushi have to be to be considered sushi?
Is it something you make? Something you eat? Something you can rotate? Or is the answer a combination of all of those characteristics?
As for the answer to this question, a hundred sushi chefs could have a hundred different answers.

While studying physics and astronomy, I discovered that rotation is the foundation of motion in this universe.
It is the things that spin that define the universe. When I first saw a piece of sushi spinning at the University of Pisa — a food secretly introduced from the East — I realized that the sport of Sushiblade is a microcosm of the universe.
The sun and the gravitational field it creates form the ring around which the Sushiblade spins, just as the Earth and the other planets do. When I realized this, everything made sense. The Earth revolves around the Sun. Many people failed to grasp that.
But even so, I knew that such an understanding was nothing more than a hypothesis — an analogy.

Ultimately, defining what sushi is comes down to subjectivity and perception. So, I decided to transform that subjectivity.
Using autosuggestion and a brainwashing regimen based on "LSD Sushi" — a solidified form of hallucinogenic drugs — I spent six months transforming my self-perception to see myself as a planet-devouring space monster. I was unable to eat solid food and had to be fed intravenously, but I had to accept that certain sacrifices were necessary.

As a result, Earth has become sushi to me.

Automated Message from the Invincible Committee on Classification, Utilization, Maintenance, and Revitalization

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The Earth is not sushi..
As this is evident, the proposal is rejected.
This file has been classified as "Discarded".

And with the help of volunteers from Dark Sushi, the Dark Sushi Rocket³ was launched and reached geostationary orbit.
Geostationary orbit is located at an altitude of about 36,000 km above Earth, and it appears stationary because the orbital period is synchronized with Earth's rotation.
I put on my spacesuit and step out of the spacecraft. The beautiful blue planet looks like an appetizing culinary treat… Yes, what lies before me is sushi — it has to be.
Using a hologram-generating device borrowed from Tou-Hei Heavy Industries to turn the Earth into a Sushiblade⁴, a clear image of chopsticks in space was produced. One of the chopsticks was positioned within easy reach and the other between that chopstick and Earth, and the head of the chopstick was struck with a teacup.

「3, 2, 1, … HEY RASSHAI」

Immediately after striking the teacup, there appeared to be no change on Earth. However, after observing for a while, I confirmed that the Earth's rotation was gradually increasing⁵, which meant that Earth had successfully transformed into a sushiblade. Earth's mass falls outside the typical range for a sushiblade, which is why it takes so long to spin.

Earth continues to increase its rotational force, yet this has no effect on the organisms inhabiting the planet. This is because the planet's structure is strongly protected by the Sushi Field generated during its transformation into a Sushiblade. This follows the same logic that allows Edomae Sushiblades—despite being made of soft materials—to withstand multiple impacts without falling apart.

After generating sufficient centrifugal force, the plan is to eject everyone hostile to Dark Sushi from the atmosphere by manipulating the sushiblade.
Once again, I have reaffirmed my own definition of Earth. I have a particularly long list of targets to eject. All the world's armies, the Sushi Non-Rotation Association, the Foundation, the Global Occult Coalition, the Horizon Initiative, the Roman Curia⁶, the Dominican Order… Of course, all of this is for the cause of Dark Sushi, but there are times when revenge and the cause are not mutually exclusive…

… Then I looked down and could see a rocket approaching me.

The type of rocket I saw belonged to the Foundation. They arrived much faster than I expected. If the rocket had been launched after Earth had been turned into Sushiblade, they never would have made it in time. In other words, this must mean there was someone from the Foundation wthin Dark Sushi.

Who could it be? ¿Could it be Cloudy, who had recently gained access to the Foundation? Could he have forgotten the favor we did him when we picked him up in Venice?
That’s what I thought, but it was still too early to make up my mind. Through the helmet of my spacesuit, I looked at the face of the man who had jumped from the rocket.

It was Takao. I recognize his face from the files and know he has ties to the Foundation; it made sense for them to send him, given his skills, but I still don't know who the mole is. So, I decided to contact him to try and find out.

"Oh, you must be Mr. Takao. Pleased to meet you. I am the space monster Ga-Ga.⁷ How did you know I was here?"

"I know who you are! Dark Sushi Lord Ga-Ga! No… Former Member Dark Sushi Lord…"

…What? Former member? I don't remember being excommunicated from Dark Sushi.
I see. So I was sold directly to the Foundation by Master Yami?
On autopilot, I contacted Master Yami through a Sumeshi Spiritual Connection.

"Master Yami, what is all this about? Why have you sold me out?"
…
"Oh, Ga-Ga. Is Takao there already? Actually, I wanted to go myself."
…
"I’m asking you why you sold me out. Do you think I’m a heretic?"
…
"I’ve heard that not even the waves of the Sumeshi Spiritual Connection can exceed the speed of light. At geostationary orbit, the lag must be terrible."
…
"My plans will bring about the total victory of Dark Sushi!"
…
"But it is obvious that your methods will fail. If anything, this only casts doubt on your loyalty to Dark Sushi."
…
"What? But all our problems will be solved in an instant…!"
…
"The darkness in this world runs deeper than you think, and we can't win simply by turning the Earth into a 'sushiblade' and driving out all our enemies."
…
"I disagree. I suppose all that's left now is to blast you out of the atmosphere too, Yami."
…
"Hmm, well, Ga-Ga… It seems you'll have to prove the power of your Sushiblade first, huh?"

Takao was already preparing his Salomon.
"Are you done talking?"
I pinched a nearby asteroid with the hologram of my chopsticks.

「3, 2, 1, HEY RASSHAI！」

The asteroid measured just over 100 meters in diameter. I calculated that even that size would be more than enough to crush it with its weight.
However, as it flew through space, the Salomon repeatedly struck the asteroid, ultimately destroying it.
I sent three more asteroids at him, but the result was the same.
Instead, the Salomon bounced the hologram generator he was holding into the weightless space of the void.

"It's over, Ga-Ga!"
"Oh-ho. It seems mass doesn't always decide the outcome of a Sushiblade duel, eh?"

"But I have much more mass; I have the Earth itself."
I bought myself some time. Now, the Earth appeared as a pale blue sphere due to its high rotational speed. I still lacked the speed to scout out our enemies, but it was enough to function as a "sushiblade."
The material was far less manageable than Gari—⁸, that I always used, but if it's that big, it shouldn't be hard to run into it.

The visual diameter of the Earth was growing significantly. Takao hurled Salomon toward the rapidly approaching Earth.
Sparks flashed in the void of space. My definition of Earth as "sushi" includes low Earth orbit, extending up to an altitude of 2,000 km. It felt as though I had fallen from geostationary orbit into low Earth orbit, but the Sushi Field attached to her and Salomon was in the midst of a collision.
Takao was in agony. Earth seemed to hold the upper hand..

"I admire you for trying to compete against the enormous Earth with such a tiny piece of sushi, but it seems you've reached your limit."
"Stop! This isn't sushi! The Earth belongs to everyone! It's not just yours!"
"I'm a space monster who lives off-planet…"
"Then why do you have to feed yourself intravenously? If you recognize these salmon as sushi, how can you say this piece of rock is sushi!"
「… The Earth spins…」
"You're not a space monster! You're just a deranged Dark Lord of Sushi!"

Suddenly, the sparks vanished. Earth's rotation returned to normal, as if nothing had happened.
Earth's sushi field had been lost, meaning the transformation of Earth into sushi had been reversed.
When all was said and done, even I couldn't quite believe that Earth had been sushi. Takao's words had broken my self-brainwashing.

The shockwaves from the disappearance of the massive sushi field rebounded toward me — the Sushiblader— and shattered the Dark Sushi Rocket that had served as my foothold.

I tasted bitter defeat. I see — it means that I, who made the Earth spin with my own hands, was nothing more than a frog in a puddle within the darkness of this world.
After all, if I couldn't defeat Takao, how could I possibly deal with the many anomalies on Earth? Perhaps that is what Master Yami was saying.

"Hold on!"

Tethered to the Foundation rocket by a lifeline, Takao tries to reach me.
I moved in to grab Takao's hand… and gave him a hard shove.
As a result, I began to fall, pulled down by Earth's gravity.

"Ga-Ga!?"
"Whoever loses a Sushiblade duel has to eat their own sushi…"

Dark Sushibladers don't usually eat the losing sushi. It is a shameful act, but the idea is that it is more reasonable for a Dark Sushiblader to survive with their honor tarnished than to be forced to eat something that isn't even edible.
I hadn't even thought about what it would be like to lose, but somewhere in the back of my mind — in my subconscious — I might have been thinking about running away.

But I wanted to pay tribute to Takao, who fought head-on against the sushi that had consumed my 456 years of life — and defeated it. It was a sense of self-satisfaction that was burning up from adiabatic compression the moment I broke the surface.

However, facing certain death, I have left an update regarding Earth's "Sushi" and its consequences in the Dark Sushi Archive, so as not to leave any loose ends. My Dark Sushi account on the Sumeshi Mental Network⁹ was still active. Is this Master Yami's final act of mercy?

I look back toward Earth. I could say I am looking up because I am falling headfirst, but perhaps it would be more accurate to say I am looking down because I am moving my head in the direction of gravity.

The rotating Earth reflects the continents of the Americas, Asia, and Europe before it — Europe, the Mediterranean, Italy, and Alchetri. When the Inquisition placed me under house arrest, I thought I was going to die. I remember the moment I somehow managed to escape alongside a dark warrior and fled to Japan via the Netherlands. It was Master Yami who trained my Sushiblade skills so I could exact my revenge — even though it happened long after an anomaly I had accidentally acquired extended my lifespan. They are all beautiful memories.

When I brainwashed myself, I didn't think I would die like this — staring at Earth, completely sane.

… Seeing Earth from space has been a dream of mine since I was young. Viewing everything from this perspective, it all makes sense now.

Earth was never sushi..

And yet, it moves.E pur si muove

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Dark Sushi File Number: 007 "Sushi LSD"
It is a more primitive and direct method of mental manipulation than Sumeshi Brainwashing, but for that very reason, it is more flexible in certain situations.

Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief World Systems
Original text. The content is now obsolete.

History of Sushiblade in Medieval Europe
The idea of ​​turning Earth into a Sushiblade has been floating around for a long time.

Dark Sushi Rocket Development Diary
Written by Dr. Torayar. The amount of money invested in the development of the Dark Sushi rocket is enormous.

Atmospheric Entry - Wikipedia
It is impossible to survive a free fall from low orbit using only a spacesuit.

Author: Galileo Galilei

Footnotes

1. In other words, the movement of an idle Sushiblade.

2. TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: A dohyō is the ring in which a sumo wrestling bout occurs. In this instance, it is being used to refer to the Sushiblade arena.

3. A rocket—developed by Dr. Torayar—that flies by converting the rotational force of a "sushiblade" into propulsion

4. A device that was subsequently lost.

5. Earth's rotation is counter-clockwise when viewed from the direction of the North Star. In the "Dark Sushi" style, there is no particular issue since the rotation is typically counter-clockwise, but I decided against rotating the Earth in the opposite direction due to the possibility of unexpected phenomena occurring.

6. The Roman Curia is the successor to the Ministry of the Holy Office of the Inquisition, and the Ministry of the Holy Office of the Inquisition is the successor to the Inquisition.

7. Ga-Ga is my pseudonym in the world of Sushiblade.

8. Sweet pickled ginger. Often used as a garnish for Edomae sushi. As a Sushiblade, it is characterized by its great maneuverability.

9. As is likely well known to readers of this archive, the Dark Sushi Archives are available in print in Dark Sushi Monthly, in electronic format at YamiSushi.com, and in the original Dark Sushi Library on the Dark Sushi server of the Sumeshi Mental Network—an adaptation of the Sumeshi Mental Connection.

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tateito

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